


Arthur's little secret

by SilverCreek



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Dark Arthur, Dark Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Imprisonment, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Past Violence, Poor Merlin (Merlin), Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:26:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverCreek/pseuds/SilverCreek
Summary: STORY SET AFTER THE EVENTS OF 'SPLINTEREDFLOWER“He was everything to me.” Merlin said quietly. “He was perfect, in every way. He was my world, the one person I cared about above all others. I loved him. I loved him and cared about him so deeply, and you took his life like it had no value. You talk about him like he was nobody. But he was my world. I’ll never forget what you did to him. I can never forgive you, Arthur. How could I? You took my world from me.”
Comments: 14
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short story occurring after the events of "Splintered Flower".  
> Massive spoilers if you have not read the original story

“Merlin?”  
Merlin was curled up in the corner of the room, his back to Arthur. He didn’t even lift his head when Arthur came in.  
“Is pretending to be dead part of ‘fighting against your fate’?” Arthur said mockingly.  
Merlin stayed perfectly still.  
Arthur sighed, setting down the basket of food. “At least you’ve been eating. Sit up. I brought a treat for you.”  
Merlin refused to stir. Arthur stared at him for some time, trying to see if he could even see his ribs rise and fall as he breathed.  
“... Merlin?” Arthur called, beginning to fear the worst. “Look at me.”  
Arthur approached him cautiously, leaning over him.  
Merlin’s eyes were open, staring at the wall.  
Arthur dropped to his knees, grabbing Merlin’s shoulder and wrenching him back. “Merlin!”  
Quick as a snake, Merlin made a jab at him. Arthur jerked backwards, avoiding the metal object in his hand that he couldn’t quite make out what it was.  
Arthur grabbed Merlin’s wrist once he made his second swing, pulling the metal object out of his weak hand.  
“A fork?” Arthur said in disbelief. “You just tried to kill me with a _fork_?”  
Merlin's jaw was tight. “I worked with what I had.”  
“So the plan you came up with was to kill the one person keeping you alive down here?”  
“I imagine when you die, the clasp will come undone. And then I’ll be free of you forever.” Merlin’s voice is terse, his eyes like stone.  
Arthur would give anything to see them sparkle again.  
Arthur stood, the pitiful ‘murder-weapon’ in his hand. “You don’t know that.”  
“It’s better than being your prisoner.” Merlin spat.  
“You were never known for doing anything well thought out.” Arthur tossed the fork behind him unceremoniously. “And what if the clasp hadn’t come undone? You’d be stuck down here. Alone. And with no water, you’d die very quickly. That what you want?”  
Merlin looked like he hadn’t thought that far ahead, but he still said, “I would have called for help until someone came. Someone might have seen you come down here, even. They’d go looking-”  
“And find you, with my murdered corpse, with a magic-suppressing clasp around your neck?” Arthur scoffed. “They’d have multiple reasons to hang you, then.”  
Merlin looked down, his face unreadable.  
Arthur picked up the basket. “Despite your pathetic attempt to off me, I am still going to give you this food and water. I even snuck down a slice of pie.”  
Merlin regarded the plates of food coldly. “Did you really think I had died? When you saw me there?”  
“Wasn’t that what you were going for?” Arthur asked, avoiding the question.  
“What would you have done if I were actually dead?”  
Arthur is a bit surprised by the inquiry. He pauses before sliding the waterskin over to Merlin. “I’m not sure…” He says, honestly. The thought made his gut wrench painfully, and he hid his feelings by busying himself with a cloth napkin.  
He had been through way too much to bring Merlin here, and had tried so hard to earn his trust back, albeit with no progress. To lose Merlin after all that would be unbearable.  
Merlin picked up the waterskin and drank from it, drinking his fill.  
Arthur watched Merlin’s throat work as he swallowed the water and he found himself intrigued by it, for whatever reason.  
Merlin set the waterskin in his lap. “Don’t stare at me.”  
Arthur almost said that he could stare at Merlin all he wanted, and there was nothing Merlin could do about it.  
Instead, he said, “I wish you were a bit friendlier towards me.”  
Merlin gave a quick, harsh laugh. “That’s not going to happen.”  
“I’m the only person you have now. You might as well try.”  
If looks could kill… Merlin’s face became even stonier, and his upper lip even began to curl and he glared at Arthur.  
Instead of lowering his gaze, Arthur stared back, holding firm.  
Seconds passed, then a minute.  
Merlin snatched his waterskin off the ground and opened the cap again. “I will always despise you, Arthur.” He said.  
Arthur said nothing for a long while, watching Merlin grab a plate and pick up the meat with his bare hands, biting into it like a savage.  
“It’s been months.” Arthur said. “Four entire months. And… Every day, you just….” Arthur shook his head. “He was just a mute nobody. He was nothing. And yet still you mourn him? Why?”  
Merlin went still, meat clutched in his hands. He slowly looked at Arthur, and instead of anger, he saw sorrow.  
“He was everything to me.” Merlin said quietly. “He was perfect, in every way. He was my world, the one person I cared about above all others. I loved him. I loved him and cared about him so deeply, and you took his life like it had no value. You talk about him like he was nobody. But he was my world. I’ll never forget what you did to him. I can never forgive you, Arthur. How could I? You took my world from me.”  
Arthur’s brow furrowed as he listened to Merlin.  
The boy… was a peasant.  
And now Merlin had the affections of a royal.  
And still he spoke of that boy like he was somehow of a higher class than a prince?  
It made a fire of resentment burn deep in Arthur’s belly.

********************************************************************************************************

“You’ve been trying to get the clasp off.”  
It was the next evening and Arthur noticed Merlin’s neck looking noticeably more red.  
Merlin had been licking his fingers clean of the food residue and he paused, glancing away from Arthur.  
Arthur scooted in closer, grabbing the candlestick he always brought with him and holding it up to see Merlin’s raw neck better. “It’s scraped raw. You’ve been pulling at it?”  
Merlin didn’t reply, which was answer enough.  
“You won’t get it off. I’m the only one who can.”  
“It burns.” Merlin muttered.  
“Well, yeah. You’ve rubbed your skin raw.” Arthur scoffed.  
“No, I mean my magic.” Merlin glowered at him. “It’s…. Trapped. Right under my skin. It wants free. It coils in my gut most of the time, but then other times it stretches out, spreading throughout me, trying to get out and when it can’t, when it just lies there…. It’s like a fire.” Merlin rubbed his arm like he could feel it as he spoke. “It burns.” He repeated quietly.  
Arthur contemplated that. “Your magic?” He said, for clarification. “I don’t quite understand.”  
“What’s not to get?” Merlin said.  
“Are you trying to cast spells or something? Is that causing the burning feeling?”  
“No.” Merlin looked at him like he was daft. “I was born with magic. It’s a part of me. Some people learn it from books. I’ve been able to use it since I was a baby.”  
Arthur angled his head, looking at Merlin differently. “I didn’t know that was possible…” He said slowly.  
“Well, it is.” Merlin picked up a roasted carrot and bit into it, turning away from Arthur and ignoring him for the rest of the time.

********************************************************************************************************

Arthur's patience was growing thin with Merlin's cruel jabs and rude remarks. If he decided to speak to Arthur at all, that is. Some nights he ignored him completely, not uttering a single word, barely sparing him a glance. Merlin would eat, and then curl up in a corner, looking away from him until Arthur left.

***************************************************************************************************************************************

"Why couldn't I heal Artemis?" Merlin whispered one night.  
When Arthur came in, Merlin looked like he had been mourning Artemis all over again, which pissed Arthur off to no end.  
"What?" Arthur asked.  
"I said spell after spell, and it didn't heal him." Merlin looked at the prince, eyes red with tears. "Why didn't they work?"  
Arthur studied Merlin for several seconds, taking in the tear-streaked cheeks, the hitch to his voice, as if he had been crying for some time before Arthur came in.  
This grieving over Artemis sickened him.  
"I poisoned him." Arthur said simply, without emotion. "When I was done with him. I made him drink poison. He was dying from the inside, not from any wounds I inflicted."  
Merlin made a strange cry of grief, giving Arthur a look like he could kill him, and buried his head in his arms, crying until Arthur became tired of it all and left, slamming the door behind him.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur unlocked the door, pushing it open, wrinkling his nose at the strong smell. It seemed to get worse each time.  
Merlin was curled up in a corner again, facing away as usual. He looked relaxed.  
“Not pretending to be dead again, are we?” Arthur said, starting to set out the food. "That won't work a second time."  
Merlin didn’t reply, so Arthur went over to him, leaning over carefully just in case he had another makeshift ‘murder weapon’.  
Merlin was asleep, and very deeply it would seem. Arthur watched him for a minute. It had been so long since he had seen Merlin this calm.  
Arthur crouched down, then stretched out behind Merlin. The smell was strong, but Arthur didn’t mind, as long as he could be near Merlin without having him lash out.  
Arthur slid in closer, until he could put his arm around Merlin’s waist, very gradually putting his arm’s weight on him, not wanting to startle him awake.  
Gods, this felt so right. Arthur marvelled at the way his body fit behind Merlin’s, pressing up against him.  
He felt Merlin shift, but not like he was going to wake.  
Poor thing, Arthur thought. He must be tired from not eating very much. And these stone floors couldn’t be comfortable to sleep on…  
Arthur closed his eyes and imagined the way it would be, in the future. He pictured them curled up in his soft, cozy bed, the lazy morning filled with nudges and nuzzles and affectionate pets, trying to delay starting the day.  
He pictured Merlin’s smile, and the way he might throw his arms around Arthur’s neck, bright eyes sparkling before kissing Arthur…  
Gods, he felt like such a girl, daydreaming about things like this… but he couldn’t deny it was his deepest wish, to have Merlin’s affections, to have him by his side always.  
Arthur pressed a kiss to the side of Merlin’s neck carefully, not wanting him to stir.  
He stayed like that until he felt Merlin shift, then the prince rose up quickly and silently before Merlin could notice he had been basically spooning him for the last ten minutes.  
Arthur held up the plate with an easy smile as Merlin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Dinner time. Brought you the rolls you like.”  
Merlin ignored him the rest of the evening until Arthur started to leave. “Wait.” He said.  
Arthur turned, hopeful he might ask the prince to stay a minute.  
“What season is it?” Merlin asked.  
“It’s nearing winter.” Arthur answered.  
“Oh. I thought as much…” Merlin lowered his head. “It’s getting cold down here.”  
“I could bring you a blanket.” Arthur offered.  
Merlin didn’t reply.  
“I’ll bring you a blanket, tomorrow night.”  
Merlin turned away from him.

********************************************************************************************************

Arthur watched Merlin finish his slice of cheese before speaking. “I know I promised you a blanket-”  
“Yet you didn’t bring me one.” Merlin noted, some bitterness in his tone.  
“I forgot. I had training today, and a meeting with father, and then a meeting with the knights..." Arthur didn't know why he was sounding so apologetic. "I'll bring you one tomorrow. Somehow."  
Merlin picked up his water, eyes narrowing at Arthur. “How do you sneak down here without anyone noticing?”  
Arthur wondered why it took him this long to ask. “The room that you’re in is under the castle. There is a section of corridors and doors leading farther and farther down that one can take to reach this section. It’s meant to be used in times of siege, so people can safely either hide away while a battle is going on above them…. Or they can also escape outside this way if it comes down to it. This room is simply one of many down here. Very few people have knowledge of the way to this part of the castle, and only I have the key to open the doors leading down. I lock the doors behind me as I go. And I always make sure no one is around once I leave my chambers.”  
Merlin seemed to consider this. “Don’t you ever worry that one day you won’t be careful enough and be caught either coming or going?”  
Arthur nodded. “Of course. That’s the risk I take.”  
“The risk you take to keep me as a prisoner?”  
“You are choosing to be a prisoner by refusing to accept your fate, and refusing to accept the future laid out for us.” Arthur snapped, tired of Merlin’s jabs. “I hold no responsibility for your stubbornness.”  
“Arthur, even if I ‘accepted’ this tomorrow, I would still be kept down here.” Merlin said angrily. “I am no fool. You wouldn’t let me wander the castle. Your obsession with me wouldn’t allow it. And I know for a fact that you would never trust me enough to take off the clasp, at least for a long, long time. Whether I accept what you have done to me or not, I will remain here. And I know it.”  
Arthur’s jaw tensed as Merlin spat his words at him.  
Part of him knew Merlin was right. Despite the dreams and visions, Merlin’s magic made him dangerous. If that clasp were to come off, Merlin could end Arthur’s life in an instant. And they both knew it. Hell, at this point, Merlin probably fantasized about it.  
So Arthur wouldn’t trust Merlin enough with the clasp off, this was true. Not until he was sure he had Merlin’s full allegiance. And then, probably not even until Arthur was king, whichever came first….  
“You will be let out one day, after you’ve accepted your fate, after you have earned my trust. Once I am king, I will allow you your freedom.” Arthur kept his voice steady and reasonable.  
"So I have years of being trapped down here ahead of me." Merlin tried to make his words biting, but failed. His sadness poured through anyway. It made Arthur's heart wrench in sympathy.  
"Maybe... I might be able to sneak you out at night every now and again..."  
Merlin bit into the venison Arthur brought and turned away from him.  
"Bring you a blanket tomorrow. Promise." Arthur said. _And maybe something to help wash_ , Arthur also thought to himself.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Blanket." Merlin snapped, the second Arthur walked through the door without one.  
Arthur had to admit he was getting sick of Merlin's attitude towards him.  
"I have it. Upstairs. It's too heavy to bring with the basket. And the bucket."  
"Bucket?" Merlin asked.  
Arthur smiled as Merlin seemed to perk up with Arthur ducked out and brought in a bucket and sponge. "Thought you could do with a wash." He said, bringing the bucket closer so Merlin could reach it.  
Merlin seemed almost... appreciative. He dipped his hand in. "It's warm."  
"Yeah, of course. Not going to make you wash in freezing cold water when it's already cold down here." Arthur sat back and started opening up the basket.  
He looked up when he noticed Merlin wasn't moving. "Go on then. It's all you." Arthur motioned.  
Merlin shifted where he stood. "I'd like some privacy, please."  
Arthur snorted. "Come on, Merlin. Don't be such a girl. Wash up, then you can eat. The smell is making my own dinner want to come up."  
Merlin looked down at the bucket, then back up at Arthur. "If you could just leave for maybe ten minutes..." He trailed off.  
Arthur stared at him, annoyed. "Merlin, just strip down and wash up. It's not that bad. I'll get you the blanket to help you dry after."  
The thought of Merlin, shivering and wet, wrapped up in Arthur's thick hide blanket, was a very alluring one.  
Merlin tensed like he could read Arthur thoughts. He shook his head. "I won't wash until you leave."  
"Merlin-"  
"No, I won't do it." Merlin insisted. "You could head back up and get the blanket and I'll be finished by the time you come back. But I won't wash with you here, watching me."  
Arthur's eyes narrowed. "If I have to make you wash, I will."  
"I'm going to!" Merlin almost yelled. "I want to! But not with you watching me."  
"Fine, we'll do it the hard way then."  
Arthur advanced toward Merlin quickly, and he saw his prisoner's eyes widen in fear.  
In what must have been a pure panic move, Merlin shouted, "Don't come near me!" And grabbed the bucket, throwing the water onto the prince.  
Arthur gasped as the water hit him, blinking it out of his eyes. His clothes were sticking to him now, and he was already feeling the cold.  
He looked at Merlin with murder in his eyes as the sorcerer seemed to realize what he had just done, dropping the bucket to the ground with a loud clang and backing up. "Sorry... I'm sorry-"  
Arthur grabbed Merlin by the wrists, forcing him to his chest. "I am sick of this." Arthur hissed. "I visit you every night. I bring you food, company, and I even made an effort to fulfill your _demands_ of me. And this is the thanks I get?"  
Arthur threw Merlin to the ground, his anger pouring out of him as he shouted, "I'm sick of your insolent words, your pointless grieving over that wretch, your utter contempt towards me. From now on, you get _nothing_. No food, no more visits. And I don't care if you freeze to death down here. It's no less than you deserve."  
At his last words, Arthur got down in front of Merlin's cowering form, pulling out his dagger.  
At the sight, Merlin's eyes grew wide. "No, sire, please!"  
It wouldn't be until much later that Arthur realize Merlin had called him 'sire'.  
In the moment, Arthur worried only about ripping and tearing at Merlin's clothes, drinking in Merlin's frightened cries and half-pleas.  
Arthur threw the trousers somewhere off to the farthest, corners, where Merlin couldn't reach it. The shirt was a different matter. The chains meant that he couldn't just rip it and yank it off. He tore it to shreds, stabbing at it with the dagger, ripping it apart with his hands until it tore in pieces and could never hope to be used for warmth. Though he imagined Merlin would try.  
The prince stood, feeling that familiar satisfied feeling at Merlin curled up, trying to hide his nakedness from Arthur, shivering already, still looking shaken at what the prince had just done.  
"You won't see me for a while." Arthur said. Then he spat on the sorcerer, watching it land on his shoulder, feeling glee at Merlin wiping it off, disgusted.  
Arthur circled the room, blowing out the candles on the wall sconces.  
"Arthur! Don't!" Merlin cried out as the room grew darker and darker, save for the light Arthur had brought with him.  
Arthur stalked away, taking the food and candlestick with him.  
"Arthur please, wait!" Merlin called after him.  
Arthur almost paused. Merlin calling out for him, wanting him to stay, was one of his greatest desires.  
But he kept walking, slamming the door shut behind him. Merlin needed to be taught a lesson. And a few days without food, water, or light should do it.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur got back to his chambers that night, fuming and soaking wet from the water Merlin had thrown on him. He took his wet clothes off, throwing them angrily in the laundry basket for a servant to take care of in the morning. He dried himself off with a towel in front of the fire, internally and sometimes outwardly cursing Merlin, furious at Merlin's lack of gratitude toward him. He had fed him daily, given him water, kept him company, and even accepted Merlin's demands for a blanket.  
And in return he gets a bucket of water thrown on him.  
Arthur stumbled over his boots as he started to pace, wrapped in a towel. He kicked the boots across the floor, hearing it hit the wall.  
Merlin rejected him. Every day. He acted like Arthur were some monster, keeping him down there. He had no idea how badly Arthur wanted him up here, how much he wished Merlin could sleep in the prince's bed with him. He wanted to eat with Merlin at his table, have Merlin by his side during training, hunting trips, and patrols. Arthur _ached_ inside to spoil Merlin.  
He had tried to explain this to Merlin. His plans, his ideas.... sometimes Arthur let slip _exactly_ how much he wanted Merlin at his side, and in response, Merlin would sneer in disgust, like the idea of being with the prince was repulsive.  
Arthur longed for Merlin's touch, longed for the day when Merlin would desire him as much as the prince desired him. He longed to see Merlin's face light up with joy, to hear his friend's laugh again, to feel Merlin embrace him...  
All he ever saw was contempt, all he ever heard come out of Merlin were venomous words. Merlin scowled and curled far away from the prince, snapping at him if the prince got too close.  
And Arthur respected it for as long as he could.  
He admitted to himself that he brought the bucket for multiple reasons... Number one being that Merlin stank horribly. His hair was getting long, and was hanging in greasy clumps. His skin was covered in a layer of grime.  
But... Arthur had fantasized about Merlin stripping down in front of him, being left no choice. He imagined Merlin would be desperate enough to get clean, enough to take off his clothes in front of the prince. Arthur could picture the way Merlin might tremble, both with cold and trepidation, shyly running the sponge over his bare, thin frame, unable to look at Arthur. Merlin would then gratefully take the blanket, wrapping himself up in it, freshly clean, embarrassed and thankful to Arthur at the same time.  
Instead, he got a fight, he got shouted at. And Arthur had snapped, his patience gone.  
The boy never showed an ounce of gratitude for anything Arthur had done for him. And Arthur was done with it.  
He was done with Merlin. The sorcerer could rot for all he cared.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin shivered, trying his best to cover himself with the scraps of his shirt that Arthur had torn to shreds.  
When he saw Arthur pull out the dagger, Merlin thought for sure Arthur intended to kill him, or at the very least maim him. Merlin was terrified as Arthur tore and cut his clothes away, hiding his face, begging Arthur to stop...  
Merlin curled up in the corner. He was cold, colder than before. He shivered, burying his face in his arms.  
How was this man Arthur?  
How?  
This was not the prince he knew. Arthur had always been spoiled and a bit rough, but this... what he did, his obsession with Merlin and his hatred of Artemis that led to him kill him... Where did this even come from? This man who visited him night after night was not the man he knew from before.  
This new prince was mad, it showed in his eyes, in his words. Arthur's eyes were cold and unfeeling, even as he tried to talk softly to Merlin, trying to woo him to see Arthur's ways.  
They scared Merlin, those emotionless eyes. He kept himself turned away from Arthur when he would visit Merlin for that reason. That, and he hated looking at the murderer of his love.  
Merlin closed his eyes, conjuring up the image in his head of Artemis, alive and happy, beautiful and smiling.  
Merlin pictured himself taking Artemis' hand, pulling him in close, giving him a kiss. He pulled back and Artemis was smiling in that shy way of his.

  
_Merlin stroked one finger under Artemis' chin. "I miss you." He whispered to Artemis. "I'm sorry."_  
_Artemis angled his head and seemed sad. He held Merlin's hand to his mouth, kissing it._  
_"Stay with me through the night?" Merlin requested._  
_Artemis nodded, stepping in closer and embracing Merlin comfortingly._

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur's resolve lasted for two days.  
He fretted over Merlin throughout the second day.  
_Merlin must be freezing..._  
_Merlin must be properly starving by now..._  
_I hope he's making his water last...._  
Arthur curled up in his warm bed as a servant stoked the fire.  
The servant set the poker to the side. He turned to Arthur and bowed. "My lord." He said, before turning to go.  
"Boy." Arthur stopped him.  
The servant turned back. "Sire?"  
Arthur swallowed. "I'm quite parched. Bring me a pitcher of water."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur advanced quickly and quietly down the stairs, candlestick in one hand, pitcher in the other.  
He got to Merlin's room, opening the door.  
The room was pitch black.  
He heard chains sliding along the floor.  
"Arthur?" He heard Merlin's hopeful voice.  
Arthur's heart clenched. Merlin wanted to see him....  
But Arthur kept his face stony. He went into the room, the candle he held in his hand the only light.  
He set down the pitcher in front of Merlin. "Here. Drink."  
Merlin clutched the pitcher with both hands.  
_His fingers are so bony... so frail_.  
Merlin drank and drank, pausing to catch his breath. He looked up at Arthur. "Did you bring any food?" Merlin's blue eyes were hopeful.  
Arthur snatched the pitcher away, dumping the remaining water on Merlin's head. The sorcerer gasped in shock at the sudden cold.  
Arthur threw the pitcher backwards, hearing it shatter somewhere behind him.  
Merlin's eyes were wide with fear and shock. He flinched back like he feared Arthur might strike him as the prince knelt in front of him.  
Arthur grabbed Merlin's hair and yanked, causing the sorcerer to yelp. He forced Merlin to look at him. "I know you must be hungry." Arthur kept his voice low, staring into Merlin's eyes. "I have food for you. Leftover from my own supper. Roasted herb chicken, with roasted vegetables and apples. And wine. I can bring you some wine."  
Merlin nods as best he can.  
"But, you have to do something for me."  
Merlin swallows, his face contorting into something like dread.  
Arthur has an idea of what he's thinking, but he forges on. "I want an apology for what you did two days ago."  
Merlin's eyes flicker in confusion.  
"I have brought you food, water, and provided you with company every single night for months. And I have been given _nothing_ in return but derisive words and insults. And despite this, I have continued to give you everything. And the night I bring you a bucket to help you wash, I literally get it thrown back in my face. But I'm willing to be the bigger person to give you a chance. Apologize, ask my forgiveness, and I will do so, and bring you food."  
Arthur released Merlin's hair and waited.  
He saw a thousand emotions flickers across Merlin's face. He sat there for 30 seconds as Merlin stared back at him, like he didn't know what he wanted to do.  
Merlin's mouth even opened a bit, like he was about to say it, then his head drooped, and he looked at his hands in his lap.  
"Come on, Merlin." Arthur coaxed. "Just ask my forgiveness and I will give it to you. Then you get to eat."  
Merlin's jaw tensed and his mouth started working like he was trying to make the words come out.  
Arthur sat still, losing some of his patience.  
Then Merlin looked up, and in the same motion, spat directly in Arthur's face defiantly.  
Arthur flinched as the glob hit right under his eye, and he wiped it off in disgust, feeling fury swirl in him at Merlin's blatant disrespect. "You little bastard." He hissed at the sorcerer.  
Merlin had the gall to almost smirk.  
Arthur raised his right hand and struck Merlin, back-handed, across the face. Merlin gasped and went to cover the mark in shock.  
Arthur pulled his hand away and struck him again, repeatedly, only vaguely aware of Merlin's cries and his pleas for Arthur to stop.  
Arthur has no intention of stopping. Merlin has had it too good for too long. And upon Arthur's generous offer of forgiveness and food, Merlin literally spits in his face.  
Merlin was deserving of every single smack, punch, and slap. Arthur held him down on the floor by his throat, easily dodging Merlin's flailing attempts to hit him.  
Arthur squeezed tighter on Merlin's neck, feeling a thrill as Merlin wheezed, lifting his chin like he was trying to get oxygen.  
Arthur punches the side of his head, then his chin. He releases his hold on Merlin's neck, hearing Merlin suck in air desperately.  
Arthur knees him swiftly in the crotch, and Merlin shouts, going to cover his bare genitals uselessly as Arthur does it again.  
The prince stood, looking down at Merlin, bruised and writhing in pain.  
"Enjoy your stay in the dark, Merlin. I hope this was worth it to you."  
Arthur picked up his candlestick and walked out, locking the door behind him.

***************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin fought not to vomit. His genitals burned from where Arthur had kneed him, his head pounded and throbbed. He rolled onto his side, cupping his crotch, trying to soothe some of the pain.  
Merlin took controlled breaths, trying to get through the worst of it. He shook from the cold, he was nauseous from the lack of food...  
He shouldn't have done it... He should have just apologized.  
But no. Arthur was a monster. He was a murderer. And he was keeping Merlin imprisoned down here. All while acting like he was a saint, like Merlin was wrong for hating him.  
But he tried to give him a bucket to wash... And Merlin refused... and tossed it at him... maybe Arthur had a right to be frustrated...  
No. NO. Arthur killed Artemis. He was a deranged fanatical who-  
But he had kept Merlin fed and offered him more comforts...  
But he was also the reason Merlin was down here in the first place...  
He offered Merlin food in exchange for an apology. Maybe Merlin should have just bit his tongue and done it.  
Sitting here in nothing but darkness, naked and in pain, Merlin was wishing he had just swallowed his pride and apologized.  
Merlin squeezed his eyes shut.

  
_"Artemis." Merlin held Artemis close to him. "I'm so hungry..."_  
_Artemis gave him a sympathetic look, squeezing him tight._  
_"I'm so cold.... so hungry... Should I have done it, Artemis? Just gave him what he wanted?" Merlin whispered, voice breaking._  
_Artemis looked at him sadly, offering no clear answer._  
_"Don't leave me. It's so dark... I need your company."_  
_Artemis nodded, squeezing him tighter._

****************************************************************************************************************************************

For well over a week, Merlin got only water. Arthur would open the door, throw a waterskin in, and slam the door shut, ignoring Merlin's pleading to wait.  
On the tenth day, Arthur tossed in some bread. He waited until he heard Merlin crunching into it. He wanted to make sure Merlin had gotten it before he left. He didn't want the sorcerer to starve to death. Only to learn his lesson.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin was sick with nausea from lack of eating. When Arthur was bringing him one meal a day for months, he could bear the hunger. His stomach gurgled constantly, but it wasn't more than he could stand.  
When Arthur stopped feeding him, his stomach churned and grumbled all day and night. Merlin could barely move, he felt so weak.  
People had often made jokes about how thin he was, like he 'could be blown away by a strong gust of wind'. Now Merlin imagined he looked like a skeleton.  
He heard the door open. He could barely lift his head. He saw something fly towards him, and he flinched. When it landed a mere two feet away, he tentatively reached for it.  
Bread.  
By the gods, he never thought he would be happier to receive a roll of plain bread.  
He crunched into it, his mouth salivating at the taste.  
Then the door slammed shut again.  
He didn't even have a chance to beg with the prince.  
Not that it mattered.  
His pleas fell on deaf ears.  
Arthur intended for him to die down here. He had to. Merlin couldn't survive on a piece of bread once a week.... or however long it had been.  
Once he was plunged into darkness again, Merlin whimpered. He couldn't see his hand in front of his face. The pitch blackness was enough to drive him mad.  
Sometimes he thought he could see a figure pass in front of him, but that was impossible.  
If he couldn't see his hand when he waved it right before his eyes, how could he possibly see if anyone, or.... anything... was in the room?  
Nothing was in the room.  
It wasn't.  
Right?  
Merlin swallowed, pressing back up against the wall.  
"I am alone down here." He whispered to himself, trying to comfort himself. "I am alone. No one is down here. I would know. It's just me."  
He bit into the bread. As he chewed, he swore he heard breathing.  
He stopped chewing.  
The breathing sound stopped.  
_It's my imaginatio_ n, Merlin insisted to himself. *There can't possibly be anyone else in here with me.*  
He chewed, slowly, listening.  
_Breathing_.  
Merlin stopped chewing.  
_Breathing stopped._  
Merlin whimpered again.  
"Arthur, please return soon." Merlin whispered.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur pulled on his gloves, staring out the window.  
It was the first snow of the season.  
He had planned on going for a ride, but the snow was falling heavily, and there was no telling how long it would last.  
Arthur shivered, despite his tunic and leather-lined jacket.  
Merlin must be freezing.  
If the temperature dropped any further tonight... Arthur had to stop that thought.  
He almost wanted to head down there right now, give Merlin a blanket... some hot soup... surely he had learned his lesson by now....  
But Arthur physically shook his head, willing the thought away. Too risky to go down there right now. Guards heavily patrolled that area where the door was until a certain time of the evening. It wouldn't do for a guard to see him go through the door and report to his father... for them to search down there.... find Merlin....  
Arthur might be heavily punished once his father learned everything he had done, but Merlin would be put to death. His father would instantly know what the clasp was for.  
So Arthur bided his time, assured himself that Merlin would be okay until he went to see him after nightfall.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur carried the thick blanket down the stairs. He couldn't bring anything else along, save for the candle. And even that made him nervous. He had a vision of the fire getting too close to the blanket and catching it on fire. He shook that thought away.  
He could always make a return trip, maybe... grab a pitcher of water for Merlin.  
Arthur turned the keys after setting the candlestick down. He pushed open the door and set the candle stick down in the middle of the floor. He saw a vague Merlin-shaped figure in the corner of the room. "Merlin?" He called softly.  
Merlin lifted his head, with some effort, it would seem. "Arthur?" He said weakly.  
Arthur's heart did a flip. He sounded so frail....  
"I brought you something." Arthur said.  
The prince heard the chains clink. "Food?" Merlin said hopefully.  
"Not tonight..."  
He heard Merlin whimper. "Starving...."  
"Food tomorrow, Merlin. Promise. Tonight..." Arthur went out, grabbing the blanket just outside the door.  
"... A blanket?" Merlin's voice got a bit more hopeful. "For me?"  
"For you. Come here." Arthur sat in the middle of the floor where Merlin could reach him.  
He heard the chains slide, and Merlin emerged from the shadows.  
His appearance was ghastly, but Arthur tried to keep his face neutral even as he was shocked by how sickly Merlin appeared.  
His face was thinner than Arthr had ever seen. As Merlin crawled to him, clearly too weak to stand, his spine jutted out horrifically.  
Arthur couldn't believe he looked like this already... after less than 3 weeks of near starvation?  
Well.... Arthur supposed he _had_ only been feeding him once a day before then. And then sudden starvation... it made sense.  
Merlin was weak, trembling as he crawled to Arthur. Arthur held open the blanket for him, and Merlin more or less collapsed into the prince's embrace, allowing himself to be wrapped in the blanket.  
Allowing himself to be wrapped in the prince's arms.  
Arthur held him, gingerly at first, then gradually tightening his embrace. "There you go." Arthur said softly. "You getting warm?"  
He felt Merlin nod.  
"Good."  
Arthur held him, even rocking him side to side a bit.  
He should feel ridiculous, rocking and cradling a former servant- and a sorcerer at that.  
But he doesn't. He holds Merlin in his arms with no shame, keeping a comfortable silence between them.  
He began to hear soft little snores, and realized Merlin had fallen asleep. Arthur nudged him awake. "Hey. Surely you've been sleeping a lot." Arthur joked.  
"No... I haven't." Merlin said in a small voice.  
Arthur sensed something was wrong. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"  
"Cold... hungry..." Merlin swallowed. "I ache all over. And the dark..." Merlin shuddered. "It's too much."  
"Surely the dark would help you to sleep."  
Merlin shook his head, not offering up any further information.  
Arthur continued to hold him. "Would you like soup tomorrow, Merlin? Nice, hot soup?"  
"Yes, sire."  
Arthur's heart leapt to hear his title. "Alright I'll bring you some soup."  
He was spoiling the boy again... Arthur feared he'd go right back to square one, coddling him again, keeping him company, giving him good food from the palace kitchens....  
"I'll bring you soup. But, you have to do something for me."  
"What is it?" Merlin asked, like he was afraid to know.  
"Apologize."  
".... Arthur?"  
"I want to hear you say, 'I'm sorry', for throwing the bucket of water on me."  
"I'm sorry I threw the water. I was so scared you were going to hurt me-"  
"No excuses." Arthur snapped. "Just the apology."  
"I'm sorry, Arthur."  
"For?"  
"For throwing the water on you."  
"I forgive you." Arthur held him tighter. "I'll bring you the soup tomorrow. And some more water."  
"Can you leave the blanket here tonight?"  
"As long as you behave, you can have the blanket every night, Merlin." Arthur ran a finger through the sorcerer's dirty hair. "Just be good, okay?"  
"Okay." Merlin whispered.  
Arthur smiled, wrapping him better in the blanket. "Good."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

_"Artemis?" Merlin called out in his head._  
_No Artemis appeared in his mind._  
_"Artemis, I'm so lonely without you here. Please, come to me."_

  
Try as he might, Merlin couldn't conjure up the image of Artemis.  
Merlin pulled his blanket over his head, grateful for the warmth. Arthur promised him soup next time... Merlin could taste it already.  
He swallowed. Was he... winning? Was Arthur winning?  
No, Merlin was just trying to survive. Just survive until he could escape. Maybe live in a cave somewhere. Maybe hire magical bodyguards and live off the land. Make money performing spells.  
Arthur wasn't winning. Merlin had only apologized because the cold was unbearable and he was so incredibly hungry, he couldn't stand the idea of going without food for another day.  
Merlin closed his eyes, hoping to sleep a bit longer, trying not to think of his stomach growling and churning, trying not to think of the food Arthur had promised him.  
Merlin heard a deep sigh and he poked his head out from the blanket.  
"A-Arthur?" He called out into the darkness.  
When no one replied, Merlin curled up tighter to himself.  
He'd been hearing noises and breathing for some time now. He knew it was just in his head. Something his brain conjured up. It wasn't real. He kept telling himself that.  
There's no one in here besides him.  
Merlin heard a whisper, coming from somewhere in the far corner of the room and he held his breath. He listened.  
"Hello?" Merlin called out timidly.  
Nothing answered.  
"No one is in here. It's just my imagination. It's just my mind playing tricks on me." Merlin said to himself quietly.  
There was no way anyone else was in here. Back when he had light, and he could see every corner of the room, everything was bare. Nothing for anyone to hide behind. And no way anything snuck in while the door was open during Arthur's visits...  
Merlin wished he hadn't considered that. He had a sudden image of some sort of shadowy creature slipping in to the room while Arthur visited.  
He tried to shove that thought away.  
There was no shadow creature, no one was in here. It was in his head.  
Merlin covered his head back up, determined to ignore his racing, paranoid thoughts and sleep for a bit until Arthur returned.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur came into the room, carrying the basket, a smile on his face.  
He had a surprise for Merlin, a reward for his good behavior.  
He used his candle to light some of the wall sconces that held the candles, illuminating the room somewhat.  
Merlin was completely wrapped up in the blanket Arthur had given him, his face barely poking out. It created an adorable sight.  
Arthur knelt in front of him. "Hey." He said softly. "Wake up."  
He pushed on Merlin, rolling him onto his back. Merlin shuffled and snorted, blinking open his eyes, looking up at Arthur.  
"Hey." Arthur said again, smiling at him.  
Merlin got one arm free, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He looked around, noticing that the room was lit again. He saw the basket, just behind Arthur, and he got a hopeful look on his face. "Is that food?" He said, his voice feeble.  
"I have food for you, don't worry." Arthur helped him sit up. He opened the basket.  
"Clothes?" Merlin said confusedly as Arthur pulled out a white tunic.  
Arthur handed it to him. "Put this on." He pulled out the trousers next, setting them down next to him. "These are _my_ clothes, and so I brought a belt as well, so the trousers don't slip right off of you while you're walking."  
Merlin shyly turned to the side as he pulled on the trousers, but that didn't stop Arthur from staring, admiring.  
Merlin was thin, thinner than he ever had been. His ribs were poking out, his collarbone and cheekbones looked sharp, like they could cut something. His bony hips looked like the skin was stretched taut over them.  
Merlin was tying the belt to keep his trousers from slipping off when he seemed to realize what Arthur just said. "While I'm walking?" He asked.  
Arthur smiled, standing up next to Merlin, who looked like he could fall over at any time. "I'm taking you upstairs, to my room. I have food for you up there."  
Merlin opened his mouth to say something, and then his knees buckled. Arthur caught him, surprised at how light he felt in his arms. "I've got you. Let's not waste any more time. I'll help you walk."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin leaned weakly against Arthur as the prince helped him walk. Arthur had his left arm wrapped around Merlin's waist, and Merlin's right arm was around Arthur's shoulders.  
The stairs were tricky, and required a lot of breaks, as Merlin was so weak, he could barely lift his legs to go up them. Arthur held onto him, sometimes basically dragging him along, trying to be as quiet as possible.  
Merlin tried to look around as they made their way through the corridors, his eyes wide as he took it all in. Arthur hurried him along, reminding him in a hushed tone not to speak until they were in Arthur's chambers.  
Arthur was practically dragging him along near the end, and his heart didn't stop racing until they were in Arthur's chambers.  
Merlin looked around at the room, his vision resting on the full bathtub in the middle of the room, still steaming. He seemed confused by it.  
Arthur pulled him along to a chair, saying nothing about the bath. "Sit. Rest. Let me get you a bowl."  
Arthur had requested a pot of soup be brought to his chambers. It sat on his table, directly in front of Merlin, who leaned forward and licked his chapped lips hungrily.  
Arthur grabbed the ladle and his old bowl he had eaten out of a few hours previously, and scooped the soup into it.  
Merlin's stomach growled loudly and he eagerly accepted the bowl and spoon and began to eat quickly. Arthur wasn't even sure he was chewing.  
Before he knew it, the bowl was empty, and Merlin was wiping his mouth, eyeing the pot.  
"More?" Arthur asked, loving to see his Merlin so happy.  
Merlin nodded, holding out the bowl. Arthur ladled some more in and Merlin once again scraped the bowl clean.  
He had 5 bowls before he finally said he was full, pushing his bowl away, now seemingly shy.  
Arthur observed the way Merlin twiddled his fingers, eyes cast down to his lap, not looking at Arthur.  
Arthur touched a greasy lock of Merlin's hair. "You are filthy." He stated the obvious.  
Merlin didn't reply to that.  
"Would you like a bath?"  
Merlin looked at him sharply in surprise, then he looked back at the tub. "Is that... Is that supposed to be for me?" He asked, like he could hardly believe it.  
Arthur chuckled. "Of course. I wanted a little present for you. You've been so very good."  
Merlin glanced away at hearing that.  
"Come on. I have towels and soap and the water won't stay hot forever." Arthur helped him up and walked with him to the tub.  
This time, Merlin didn't seem shy about disrobing. He stared at the water, casting off his clothes, letting them fall to the floor.  
Arthur helped him in to the tub, making sure he didn't fall over.  
Merlin sank into the water and made a strained sound of pleasure. He sighed, closing his eyes, shifting and sinking in further until his chin touched the water.  
Arthur's heart did a happy flip. He loved seeing his Merlin so pleased with his reward. He sat cross-legged next to the bath, dipping his fingers into the water, swirling it around, watching Merlin just soaking in the bath.  
Merlin finally opened his eyes and jolted at seeing Arthur watching him so intently. He recovered, but he looked away, looking uncomfortable.  
Arthur understood, even if he was annoyed by it. Little by little, Merlin would grow more comfortable. He would be more accepting of Arthur's desires and understand what destiny expected of them both. Baby steps. Arthur only hoped he wouldn't have to resort to the harsh punishments again. It didn't exactly please him to see Merlin so weak and frail. He promised himself to only punish if absolutely necessary.  
"Start washing." Arthur offered up the soap and cloth. "There's lavender oil in the water. And the soap is pretty strong. Should get rid of all the grease and the... smell."  
Merlin nodded gradually, taking the soap, only giving Arthur a quick glance. He got his hair wet, and started lathering his scalp.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin hated this. Hated the scrutiny of the prince's gaze, the way his eyes lingered on every movement as Merlin washed himself.  
He couldn't deny that he was... grateful... for the bath. He truly never would have suspected Arthur would do this for him. But the way Arthur called it a 'reward'... It left a bad taste it Merlin's mouth.  
Merlin had to wash and rinse his hair several times until he felt it was sufficiently clean. Ignoring Arthur's stares, and the way his fingers played in the bath water (which Merlin found creepy and unnerving), Merlin lifted a leg and began to scrub it down.  
As he washed between his toes, Merlin found himself smiling at bit at the memory of Artemis' very intense cleaning routine. Merlin used to tease Artemis about how hard he used to scrub his skin, and the way he painstakingly cleaned every single last crevice of his body until he was satisfied.  
"What are you thinking about?"  
Arthur's eerily quiet and calm voice cut through Merlin pleasant thoughts.  
Artemis' murderer angled his head as Merlin dropped his leg back into the water and ignored him. "You smiled a bit there." Arthur said. "What made you happy?"  
Merlin swallowed. "Nothing." He answered, his voice wavering.  
"I hope one day to see that smile all the time. When I am king. When you can be here, always." Arthur's voice is quiet, soft, and unsettling.  
Merlin bit down on the inside of his lip. He was expected to be Arthur's court sorcerer one day, potentially years from now. He was expected to serve by his side happily, and to forgive and forget Arthur's cruelty and the way he shattered Merlin's heart and upended his happy life.  
Merlin swore never to forget. Artemis didn't deserve to die. And Arthur didn't deserve Merlin's loyalty. To serve Arthur willingly... would be practically spitting on Artemis' grave.  
Merlin started washing his chest, his arms, the back of his neck, all while Arthur watched intently. Merlin felt so humiliated and did his best to pretend Arthur wasn't there.  
Merlin finally finished washing. The water had changed color from all the dirt and filth. Merlin dropped the cloth into the water, and looked away from Arthur, towards the fireplace.  
"Would you like to dry off in front of the fire?" Arthur asked.  
Merlin nodded slowly. He would actually like that quite a lot.  
"Come on then. Stand up. I have towels for you."  
Arthur spread one towel out on the ground, and grabbed another one, unfolding it and holding it up.  
Merlin leaned forward, and eased himself upwards. He hated the way his legs shook, the way he shivered as the cold air hit him, causing Arthur to wrap the towel in his hands around him, helping him out of the water.  
He didn't want to rely on Arthur to remain steady, but he was weak, weak from lack of food, lack of exercise. He found himself leaning onto Arthur, pulling the towel around himself tighter.  
"Come on, let's get you warm and dry." Arthur said in that low voice that made Merlin shudder.  
Merlin walked unsteadily to the fire, tightly holding onto the towel, wrapping it around himself, and stared at the flames.  
"Here, let me." Arthur tugged at the towel, and Merlin didn't let go. "I'm fine." Merlin muttered.  
"Your hair is dripping, let me help you dry off." Arthur pulled at it again, and Merlin stubbornly held on.  
"I said, I'm fine." Merlin said, voice hard. "Leave me be."  
There was a silence, and Merlin felt his chest tighten, wondering if he had made Arthur angry...  
He heard a small chuckle. "Always so stubborn." He heard Arthur say affectionately.  
Much to Merlin's surprise and dismay, Arthur pressed his face against the curve of Merlin's neck and nuzzled there. Merlin stiffened, his lip curling in disgust.  
He felt Arthur trace the gold and silver clasp around Merlin neck. Merlin felt his magic twist and spread out through his body, desperate to be free.  
Merlin despised the clasp. He used to tug at it constantly, even tried to twist or bend it, anything to weaken the metal enough to snap it and be free. But the clasp was strong, and Merlin only ever ended up with raw, burning skin.  
"You look good with this on. Look at the way it gleams when it catches the light from the fire." Arthur murmured. He pointed towards a tall standing mirror, and Merlin slowly turned his head to look at himself.  
_Oh gods_.... He looked like a skeleton. Merlin swallowed, looking away quickly, but the image was seared in his head. He was emaciated, gaunt... his skin was deathly white and his cheeks were sallow and sunken. His eyes had dark rings under them.  
How Arthur could even bear to be in the same room as him, with Merlin looking as horrifying as he did, was a mystery.  
Arthur touched the clasp again. "I know one day, every evening will be like this. Relaxing in front of the fire. Unwinding after a long day. Our stomachs full from good food and rich wine. Then.... we'll retire off to bed." Arthur nearly whispered that last part, like he was shy. Merlin felt a bit of bile come up at the thought of being intimate with Arthur.  
"I'll spoil you rotten. Give you all the gifts you could ever want. A personal servant of your own, waiting on you hand and foot. I promise you that. You'll grow to love me. I know you will. You don't see it now, but... You will. You'll see all I've done for you and you'll love me for it."  
Merlin would have laughed at Arthur's words if he hadn't been so repulsed at the very notion of _ever_ willingly serving and even being _remotely_ affectionate with Arthur.  
"And when do you expect me to forget about Artemis? Hm? And what you did to him?" Merlin said, his words coated in venom. "When does that happen?"  
Arthur sighed and finally pulled away from Merlin. "Still thinking about that boy." He said bitterly.  
"Every day." Merlin said. "Every day until the day I die."  
He felt Arthur grab his wrist harshly and yank him around to face him. Merlin gasped at the sudden pain and found himself staring into Arthur's furious eyes.  
"Artemis is dead." Arthur spat at him. "He died so our future could be realized. One day, when you stop mourning his worthless life and come to your senses, you'll see that his death was for the best."  
"He wasn't worthless." Merlin heard the tears in his voice and he didn't care. "I am so sick of you telling me not to care about the loss of the best thing that has ever happened to me-"  
" ** _I am the best thing that has ever happened to you!_** " Arthur growled, grabbing Merlin by the shoulders and gripping him tightly. "You would still be wasting your life away with him if it weren't for me. Living like a commoner in a lowly cabin. Performing meaningless magic tricks to entertain a mute nobody. Farming and catching food like every other peasant out there just to survive. But here I am, prepared to sacrifice my father's work so *you* can have a royal position, serve next to a king, and be the powerful sorcerer I have seen in my dreams. And instead of wanting this, you mourn your old life. Everything I am doing I am doing for *you*. I am sick and tired of being treated like I have done *anything* wrong. I did what I had to do. For *you*."  
Merlin shook his head in disgust. "You are so full of your delusions ad insanity that you don't even realize how evil what you did was. What you are doing now. You keep me in chains. You abuse me. You starve me. You murdered someone I loved. And you expect me to love and serve you one day? The second I am free from this clasp, I swear I will kill you, and that is _my_ promise to you."  
He fully expected the slap, but it didn't stop him from crying out. Arthur put a hand over his mouth at once. "You idiot." He hissed. "If someone hears you, you're through. Do you understand that? If my fathers sees that clasp, you will be executed."  
Arthur dragged Merlin's light, weak body to his bed and shoved him down onto the mattress.  
"Arthur, no. Don't." Merlin held up his hands. He knew he couldn't fend the prince off if he was planning to do what Merlin feared he was going to do.  
Arthur got on top of him, and Merlin whimpered, his magic trying to protect him. It burned where it remained trapped under his skin.  
Arthur grabbed Merlin's wrists again and kept him still. His face hovered very near Merlin's, and Merlin found himself staring into cold eyes.  
"Do you know what I liked about Artemis?" Arthur asked coolly, like he wasn't holding down a very naked Merlin against his mattress.  
Merlin shook his head quickly, terrified at where Arthur was going with this.  
"When I had him out in the woods, before I poisoned him, I had my way with him."  
Merlin made a pained sound in his throat, and he closed his eyes, wishing he could block out what Arthur was saying.  
"And he was _good_ , Merlin. So very good. He didn't struggle once. Just shut his eyes and took it." Arthur's voice was oozing with mockery.  
Merlin sobbed once and Arthur covered his mouth with one hand. "I understood why you liked him so much, the second I was inside of him. That was all he was good for, in the end. A quick tumble. Boys like that usually end up taking all sorts of stranger's cocks for coin eventually. If you hadn't left with him, that's where he would have ended up, I'm sure of it."  
Merlin felt the tears streaming down his face and he shut his eyes. He hadn't known Arthur had done that... He promised Artemis nothing like that would happen to him again, and it did.  
He vowed so many things to his lover and he failed him terribly. Artemis must have been so scared, in so much pain. Did he die hating Merlin? Merlin choked out another sob at thinking that. He wouldn't blame Artemis if he did. Merlin didn't keep him safe like he promised he would.  
"I'm not going to hurt you. Not tonight." Arthur said. Merlin slowly opened his eyes. "But I swear to all the gods, if you mention Artemis just one more time after tonight, I **_will_** do to you what I did to him before I killed him."  
Merlin drew in a shaky, tearful breath through his mouth as soon as Arthur removed his hand. "Are we understood?" Arthur asked him.  
Merlin nodded his head. "Good."  
The prince got up and tossed Merlin his clothes. "Put these on. High time you got back down to your room."  
Arthur was evil. Positively evil. Merlin trembled as he pulled on his clothes. The prince seemed pleased at Merlin's reaction at hearing what he had done to Artemis. He seemed to have a glimmer in his eyes as he threatened Merlin, like he was almost wanting Merlin to break his word just so he could have his way with Merlin.  
He wondered what kind of morals were stopping him from raping Merlin anyway. The prince didn't seem to have any whatsoever.  
Merlin stood, shaky and scared as Arthur poured himself a small cup of wine and downed it quickly. "Because I am benevolent, despite your insolence to me, I will let you keep the clothes. And the blanket. But if you displease me again, even once more, I will strip you of your privileges and leave you with nothing again. Understood?"  
Merlin nodded.  
"Then let's get you back downstairs."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur locked Merlin back in his clasps. "You still haven't earned your freedom from these. See if you can." The prince picked up his candlestick. "I will be back tomorrow evening with more food."  
Merlin nodded, slumping down against a wall, pulling the blanket to himself.  
"Merlin."  
Merlin looked up at him.  
Arthur watched him, his face unreadable. "I had the advantage over you tonight. You realize that, don't you? Yet I didn't hurt you. And I could have."  
Merlin still feels his wrists ache and his skin burning from Arthur's slap. He looks down at his hands, not feeling like arguing.  
"I love you, Merlin." Arthur says sincerely. "I didn't hurt you because I love you. Do you see that?"  
Merlin clenches his jaw to keep from scoffing at that. Arthur was too insane to be reasoned with.  
_You don't love me. You don't understand how to love someone. You arrogant, wicked, delusional monste_ r.  
He heard Arthur sigh. "Good night, Merlin."  
As soon as the door was shut and locked, Merlin burst into tears.  
"Artemis." Merlin wept, digging his fingers into the stone floor. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I should have been there for you. I should have protected you better. This is all my fault. Please forgive me, my love. Please."  
Merlin curled up on the floor, shaking from the force of his sobs. "I only ever wanted you to be safe and happy. I tried my best, Artemis. Please forgive me. Please forgive me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worked really hard on this chapter. I kept editing and rewriting it to fit EXACTLY what I wanted, so I really hope you enjoy it.   
> Sorry for any typos.  
> There will be one more chapter after this one to finish this particular story.

"D'you remember when we went fishing, and we were both going after that _giant_ white fish that kept dodging our spears?" Merlin leaned against the stone wall, wrapped in his blanket, a dreamy smile on his face as he spoke. "I could've used magic to get it, but I wanted to give it a fair chance. Pity we never caught it. Could have been a delicious meal for two by itself."  
Merlin covered his feet in the blanket. "Remember that time I kept poking you and poking you and pretending it wasn't me so you held down my legs and tickled my feet until I promised to stop?" Merlin laughed out loud at the memory into the empty room.  
"Oh! Do you remember when we tried to reach those apples at the very top of that one huge apple tree? I had you standing on my shoulders to try and reach them." Merlin let out a wistful sigh. "Those apples were the most delicious I'd ever eaten. I wish you'd known about my magic at the time. I could have just magicked them down from the tree. But... maybe not... We were still in Camelot at the time. Even if you had known, probably wouldn't have risked someone seeing me just for a few apples."  
Merlin smoothed down his blanket while he sat in silence for a moment. "Arthur told me not to talk about you anymore." Merlin said, his voice low and sad. "Just because I won't bring you up out loud, doesn't stop me from thinking about you the entire time Arthur visits me. He- he really frightens me, Artemis. I'm quite honestly terrified of him. I try not to show it too much, but... I'm scared of what he's capable of doing to me. He's so screwed up in his head. I worry.... I worry of what he may yet do to me."  
Merlin shivered, thinking about Arthur's next impending visit. "I fear him, Artemis. I fear that one day he'll decide I'm just not worth it and kill me."  
Merlin paused for a moment. "I don't know if I want to die. I don't think I do. I just don't want to be here. But sometimes I think about... joining you. Seeing you again. Embracing you." Merlin felt tears sting at his eyes. "I miss you. I love you. I'll never stop loving you, and I'll never forget you, no matter how much Arthur wants me to. And I'll never stop fighting him. No matter what. For you, Artemis. Always for you."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Can I have a book?"  
Arthur looked over at Merlin. "What?"  
Merlin, still not looking at the prince, said, "A book. I'm bored down here."  
"What kind of book?"  
Merlin thought for a moment. "One about... animals. Lots of pictures."  
Arthur laughed. "Such a child you are." He teased affectionately. "Shall I bring you a dolly as well?"  
Merlin didn't seem to appreciate the joke. "A large book. Maybe more than one, if you can manage it."  
"I will do my best, Merlin. Any other requests?"  
"More light."  
"This is all the light you get, Merlin." Arthur said, his tone becoming harsher. "You can read directly under one of the sconces and have plenty of light."  
Merlin's shoulders seemed to fall even further and he didn't reply.  
Arthur had extinguished some of the candles a few nights ago. Merlin had gotten snippy with him and threw the metal dinner plate at him. So Arthur let him starve for a night and made the room a little darker.  
"I could have taken all the light." Arthur reminded him.  
"I know." Merlin muttered.  
"And I could also have refused the book request as well."  
Merlin stayed quiet.  
"But I won't. I get that you're probably bored down here. Just be good and I'll let you have things to entertain yourself with."

***************************************************************************************************************************************

"Oh, a stoat! I remember you trying to sketch one and it looked like a snake with legs." Merlin laughed as he flipped to the next page. "Which I suppose stoats kind of look like anyway... Here's a sketch of a falcon. You were always so good at sketching birds. Here's a deer. Remember that doe we saw right outside the cabin one morning with her fawn? We stood perfectly still for what felt like ages, just watching them graze. That fawn was so adorable..."  
Merlin sighed deeply, tracing the lines of the drawing with a fingernail. "Your art was so good, Artemis. Just got better everyday. Probably could have made some money off of it. Especially if you had started drawing people."  
Merlin flipped to the next page, but really didn't pay attention to what was on it. "I wonder if anyone's discovered your journal by now... I hope not... I don't imagine you would like people knowing your innermost musings even after you've passed on."  
Merlin's heart clenched painfully as he said, 'passed on', but he kept going. "Suppose it doesn't matter. I just know you wrote some.... private things in there."  
Merlin looked up, his eyes sweeping the room. With some light, the room wasn't so scary. In the dark, his imagination went wild. It got especially bad during the time Arthur was punishing him severely and not visiting him. He saw things pass in front of him. He heard whispers, breathing, the occasional footsteps...  
He felt silly now, but it was easy to get carried away in the dark.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"How's the book?" Arthur asked. Merlin had been flipping through it when he came in this evening.  
"It's nice to have." Merlin said quietly.  
"Do you want a different one for tomorrow?"  
"No."  
"I'm happy to bring you whatever you need to help pass the time." Arthur told him wishing Merlin would make eye contact. "If there's ever anything you need...."  
"Could you take my chains off, please?" Merlin requested, messing with the clasps on his wrists.  
"No." Arthur said firmly.  
"My wrists are sore."  
"Then stop rubbing the clasps so much." Arthur snapped.  
Merlin stopped, letting his hands fall to his lap.  
Arthur relaxed a little. "Maybe when I trust you a bit more." He relented.  
"Why wouldn't you trust me?"  
"Hm, I don't know. Maybe because of all the threats you've made to kill me?" Arthur said dryly.  
Merlin stared down at his blanket, twisting the material in his hands.  
"One day, I'll trust you." Arthur said, after a long silence. "And you'll trust me. And with that trust comes a lot more privileges. You just have to stop fighting me. That's all. Accept your fate."  
Merlin practically sneered into his lap, and Arthur saw him tense up angrily, but he said nothing.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin wrung his hands anxiously as Arthur replaced the nearly burnt-out candles with new ones.  
Merlin had noticed a few of the candles getting shorter and dimmer, and while he requested new ones the night before, he was terrified of the candles burning out before Arthur could get here and replace them.  
In fact, he was so scared, he had barely slept, watching the shadows grow as the light grew dimmer and dimmer.  
"There you go." Arthur lit the last candle, and Merlin audibly breathed a sigh of relief. The room looked so much brighter now.  
Arthur gave him a curious look, putting the old, stubby candles in the basket. "What, did you think the candles would burn out and leave you at the mercy of the monsters?" He joked.  
Merlin's head snapped towards him, eyes wide. He knew it was just a (terribly unfunny) joke, but it made his heart race anyway.  
Arthur looked at him strangely. "There's nothing down here with you, Merlin.... you do know that right?"  
Merlin cast a nervous glance to the darkest corner of the room, where the light didn't quite reach, swallowing hard.  
"Merlin?"  
Merlin sat hard on the floor. "I'm starving. What did you bring me?"

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"How do you expect me to survive down here for years?" Merlin asked one evening.  
Arthur had been gathering everything back into the basket, preparing to leave, but paused at Merlin's question.  
It was indeed a dilemma.... Down here, with very little food and no sunlight, barely any exercise... By the time Arthur was king, Merlin would pretty much be a sickly, withered husk. It had been months since he'd been outside, and he already looked pretty terrible. Arthur had no clue what years of this could do to him.  
Merlin stared at him while Arthur thought of how to answer.  
"I don't like keeping you down here." Arthur finally said.  
"You could free me."  
"Merlin, I spent way too much time and effort to find you and bring you back to Camelot. I'm not going to just give up now and release you."  
"Do you even care what being down here does to me?" Merlin snapped. "I'm starving, I'm freezing, I'm lonely and bored out of my mind. Some days I feel like I'm slowly losing my sanity, with nothing to look at, no one to talk to, nothing to do-"  
"I'm here though." Arthur offered up, getting closer to Merlin. "I'm your company. I'll talk to you about anything you like. And I said I'd bring you anything you wanted to pass the time."  
"Damn it, Arthur!" Merlin shouted, his eyes full of anger. "You really don't care, do you? You _like_ me being trapped down here."  
"Is that what you think?" Arthur snapped at him. "Merlin, I long for the day that you are free to roam the castle and the citadel. I _want_ you to be happy and free. But it just can't happen yet. I'm trying to make this entire thing easier on you." Arthur made his voice calm. "I want to lighten your suffering as much as I can. I worry about you down here. All the time. And I'm sorry, but this is just how it is for now."  
"Then just let me die." Merlin hissed at him. "I can't live like this a day longer."  
"You can, and you will." Arthur said, wincing at how much he sounded like his father. "I'm going to keep visiting you, keep giving you food, and keep trying to chip away at the wall you seem to have built around you. I'm not giving up on you."  
"Then I will stop eating."  
Arthur barked a laugh. "You tried that. It didn't last very long."  
Merlin glared at him. "Can't you just leave me be?"  
Arthur shut the basket and stood, going over to the sorcerer. He stood over him, and Merlin stubbornly looked down at his own lap.  
Arthur lifted his chin up, forcing Merlin to look up at him. "I'm not going to stop trying with you, Merlin." Arthur said softly. "I love you too much for that. I am going to be back tomorrow. Get some rest. Enjoy your book. Try and walk around the room, get some exercise."  
He held Merlin's chin like that for a second longer, looking into those bitter blue eyes. Then Merlin wrenched his head away and Arthur bit back a sigh, gathering up his things. "Good night, Merlin."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin screamed. He screamed at the door, screamed into the empty room, until his throat was raw and hoarse and then he screamed some more.  
Sometimes he screamed for help, for someone to hear him.  
Sometimes it was a curse directed towards the prince.  
Other times, it was just a plain, simple, cathartic scream into the air.  
Merlin yanked at the chain on the wall when he couldn't make himself scream any more, trying to get free. He tried to slide the clasps off his wrists like he had tried a million times before. He tried twisting the links to make them break.  
When nothing worked, he fell to his knees and wept.  
His throat was too raw to scream anymore, so he didn't. He just cried, missing his freedom, his magic... missing Artemis.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Alright, good work." Arthur took off his helmet and looked at the young knights in front of him. "Much improvement from last time. I want to see more of this tomorrow. We will be doing more mace-work, as well as axe-training. I will see you on the training field at dawn."  
He didn't miss the small groan from one of the knights, but he ignored it. "Dismissed."  
Arthur walked over to the barrel of water and dipped the ladle in, drinking it with great relish. Despite the snow on the ground and the cold wind, he was sweating under his armor.  
He looked at the young knights he had just been training for hours. All of them had just recently completed their squirehood and were eager to prove their new status as knights of Camelot. And, Arthur had to admit, he was already highly impressed with them.  
The knights were heading inside to take off their armor and put away their weapons. Arthur motioned to a servant. "You. Help me inside with my armor."  
The servant nodded and followed him inside the armory.  
"-Training at dawn, in this kind of weather?" Arthur heard a knight say. "The prince must be mad."  
Arthur froze just as he entered the armory, and turned to look at the group of knights. "Who said that?"  
The knights froze, and one of them, the one Arthur assumed was the guilty party, looked terrified, staring wide-eyed at the prince like a startled deer.  
"You." Arthur stepped forward. "What did you call me?"  
The other knights looked away, a couple of them made themselves busy, unable to watch the unfolding scene.  
The guilty knight's mouth opened and closed a few times. "I- I was only making a small joke, sire." He stammered.  
" **DO** **NOT**. **EVER**. Call me that again. Do you understand me?" Arthur stepped right up to the knight, staring him down, getting close to his face. "I will not be insulted by my own knights like that."  
"I'm sorry, sire-"  
"You ever call me mad again, and I will take away your title in an instant, are we understood?" Arthur threatened, still staring daggers at the scared lad.  
".... Yes, sire. My apologies."  
Arthur stared at him for a second longer, then whipped around to look at the servant, who was standing by awkwardly, like he wasn't sure what to do. "Help me with my armor." Arthur snapped.  
The servant set into action at once, like he was afraid of accidentally setting off the prince as well.  
Arthur sat heavily in one corner of the armory, turned away from the knights, fuming silently. He could hear the clangs and scuffling of the knights removing and putting away their own armor and weapons.  
 _I'm not mad._ Arthur thought to himself, jaw clenched and eyes fixed to a weapon rack as the servant nervously unstrapped his armor, setting the pieces to the side. _I'm not_.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur walked into the room, scanning around until he found Merlin, facing away from him as usual, blanket around himself.  
Arthur wasn't sure if Merlin spent most of his time in the corner of the room, or if he just went there when he heard Arthur coming.  
"I brought you something, Merlin." Arthur announced.  
Merlin didn't show that he'd heard.  
"It's a game."  
Merlin's head lifted, and he turned slowly to look at Arthur, his eyes full of wary interest. "Game?" He asked, his voice raspy.  
"Yes. Come closer." Arthur opened the basket and pulled out the wooden box containing the game.  
"What game is it?" Merlin's chain's slid along the floor as he stepped closer, trying to get a good look at the game without getting too close to Arthur.  
Arthur lifted the lid to the game open, and gathered up the wooden pieces, trying to arrange them correctly. "Alright, so one side has a king, and some defensive pieces. The other side has attackers. The player with the king has to have the king escape the board without getting caught by an attacking piece from their opponent. Now, once the king has left the mid-"  
"I know this game." Merlin interrupted, getting in a bit closer and sitting down.  
Arthur blinked, holding a piece in his hand. "You do?" He asked in disbelief. "How?"  
"One of the villagers back in Ealdor made their own set and taught me and a friend how to play. We used to play it all the time."  
"You any good?"  
Merlin shrugged. "It's been a while."  
"Which side do you want?"  
"What makes you think I want to play?" Merlin said, his harsh tone returning at once.  
"Why wouldn't you want to?" Arthur kept his tone light.  
"I don't know why, but playing a friendly game with the man keeping me captive down here doesn't quite appeal to me." Merlin responded dryly.  
"Aren't you tired of just sitting here with me, though?" Arthur asked. "Night after night, ignoring me and pretending I don't exist, only to be left alone for an entire night and day until I come back, bored out of your mind, only to ignore me again when I come back? Doesn't it get a little repetitive?" Arthur twisted a wooden piece between his fingers. "I'm offering you an alternative. Switching things up."  
Merlin eyed the game board.  
"Just play a couple of rounds with me." Arthur coaxed. "It won't be nearly as bad as you think."  
Merlin sucked on his lower lip as he considered the proposition, finally scooting in closer to the board. "Fine." He snipped. "Just a couple of rounds. And then I'm done. And you can leave."  
Arthur smirked, feeling victorious. "Sure. Now which side do you want?"

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"So who did you used to play this with all the time?" Arthur asked, moving his attacking piece.  
"Just a friend."  
"What was their name?"  
"Why do you need to know?" Merlin hesitated before sliding his defensive piece closer to Arthur's attacking piece.  
"Just curiosity." Arthur moved his king piece a bit closer to safety. They were on their fifth round of this game, and while Merlin was still responding icily to the prince, he did seem to be enjoying the game, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud.  
"You don't need to know." Merlin said firmly. His defensive piece took out Arthur's attacker.  
"Fair enough."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"What was Ealdor like?" Arthur asked. It was their fourth night in a row of playing this game. This evening, when Arthur brought it down, Merlin even looked excited for a second before schooling his features. Arthur didn't note it out loud, but it definitely made him happy to see Merlin's defenses crack for a split second.  
"Boring." Merlin moved his piece.  
"Small?"  
"Very."  
"Just the one friend?"  
"Yeah." Merlin took a minute to look over the board for his next move.  
"Were you ever.... more than friends?" Arthur took a chance and queried.  
Merlin scowled up at him. "No. Why? If we had been, would you track him down and kill him as well?"  
Arthur felt his fingers start to curl into a fist and he looked away from Merlin, making himself stay calm. Merlin was coming dangerously close to mentioning Artemis again, something he had warned Merlin against in no uncertain terms.  
Would he actually go through with his threat if Merlin mentioned Artemis again? More than likely no. Arthur had made his threat in the heat of the moment, sick and tired of Merlin's pathetic mourning and moaning about the mute. If he were to attack Merlin like that... defile him as he had to Artemis, there would be no return.  
But Merlin didn't need to know that the threat was an empty one.  
"I wouldn't. I was just curious." Arthur replied after a long moment. "No need to get so up-in-arms about an innocent question."  
Merlin made a sound like he didn't believe Arthur. They played the rest of the game in silence.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Is winter almost over?" Merlin asked.  
"Just about." Arthur replied. He moved his piece haphazardly and Merlin took it out on his turn.  
Merlin went still for a moment, but not as if he were considering his next move. Arthur looked at him.  
Merlin's brow was furrowed as he stared at the board. "I've been down here for half a year..." He said in a small voice.  
Arthur straightened up where he was leaned close to the board. He watched Merlin's lower lip quiver. He thought it looked adorable.  
Arthur said nothing, waiting patiently for Merlin to make his next move.  
A minute passed. Then two.  
"Merlin." Arthur gently reminded him. "Your turn."  
Merlin didn't look up.  
"Merlin."  
"I want you to leave." Merlin said, his voice low, but with no anger. Only sadness.  
Arthur nearly argued with him, then thought better of it. He packed up the pieces of the game. "I will see you tomorrow."  
Merlin's chains slid along the floor as he crawled away to the corner.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur stood in the middle of the room, silently watching Merlin, who was bundled up in a corner as usual.  
Arthur knew Merlin was aware he was in here. He saw Merlin slightly lift his head when Arthur came in, only to droop it back down.  
Arthur looked towards the candles on the wall, then back at Merlin.  
The prince walked up to one of the candles, giving Merlin one more quick glance, and then blew it out swiftly.  
He went to the second candle and did the same.  
Merlin was suddenly alert, his head lifting up sharply. "What are you doing? Stop that!"  
Arthur blew out the third candle and Merlin stood up with a distraught, "No!" And darted over to stop Arthur from blowing out the fourth. "Don't!"  
Arthur paused and looked into Merlin's panicked, anxious face. "What's wrong?" He asked the sorcerer calmly.  
"I haven't even done anything! Don't take my light!" Merlin pleaded, and Arthur relished in his distress.  
"You're scared of the dark." Arthur stated without any emotion.  
Merlin set his jaw. "Don't take the light."  
"Please."  
" _Please_." Merlin said, his tone insincere.  
Arthur studied him for a few seconds, then grabbed a lit candle, relighting the ones he had just put out. Merlin noticeably relaxed. "Why were you even doing that?" He asked, looking at Arthur like he had been betrayed.  
Arthur didn't respond to the query.  
After months of stubbornness, relapsing, biting words, and constant rejection of Arthur, the prince may have finally found a weak spot in Merlin's armor.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"It's snowing." Arthur told Merlin.  
He had managed to sneak the sorcerer into his chambers again, giving him another much-needed bath.  
Arthur stood by the window as Merlin scrubbed himself clean in the tub.  
"Probably looks beautiful." Merlin muttered.  
"It does." Arthur looked down into the courtyard. "Probably get quite a few inches at this rate, if it doesn't slow down."  
Arthur listened to the light splashes as Merlin seemed to take his time getting clean. Arthur had requested the water especially hot this evening, so it would be perfect by the time he snuck Merlin up.  
Merlin finished his bath, standing up to grab the towel. Arthur didn't even pretend not to look as Merlin quickly dried and then wrapped himself up, keeping his head down, pretending not to notice the prince's gaze.  
Arthur watched until Merlin tightened the towel around his slim waist, then went over to the fire as Merlin rubbed his hair dry with another towel. "Some spiced cider sounds heavenly." Arthur mused, staring into the flames.  
He heard Merlin give a noise like he agreed.  
"Spiced cider. Mulled wine. Roasted pig. Roasted fruit. Cakes." Arthur licked his lips. "I do love this time of year."  
Merlin didn't reply, and Arthur turned to look at him. "Would you ag-?"  
Merlin wasn't by the tub.  
Arthur had a split-second of panic until he spotted Merlin by the window. His relief was short-lived, however.  
"Get the hell away from the window." Arthur hissed. "The hell is wrong with you?"  
He stormed over to Merlin, grabbing his arm and snatching him away. "What if someone were to see you?"  
Merlin scowled at him. "I just wanted to see the snow."  
"Someone sees you in my bedroom window, they'll get suspicious."  
"There isn't anyone down there." Merlin said.  
"I don't care. Never do that again." Arthur released his grip on Merlin's arm.  
Merlin rubbed his arm, frowning at the prince. "I want my clothes back now."  
"Please."  
Merlin's frown got deeper and he nearly glared at Arthur. " _ **Please**_." He said, just as sarcastic and insincere as before.  
Arthur tilted his head, looking at Merlin's features, trying to determine if he'd gotten any thinner. He was certainly getting paler... a sickly shade of white. His stomach was sunken in, his ribs more defined, poking out sharply from his body. Arthur couldn't see his hips for the towel right now, but he imagined the bones jutted out just as much.  
The cheekbones stuck out like a sore thumb, his cheeks hollow, his jaw even more angular-looking, like Arthur could slice a finger on it. His formerly plump, pink lips were thin and white. Merlin's hair was shaggy, hanging down, unflatteringly framing his face.  
Arthur heard a heavy sigh and thought it was Merlin until he realized it came from him. Merlin was entirely correct... After only six months, he looked sickly and horrid. The slight paleness was fine before, but he was getting worse and worse by the day. Merlin looked weak and frail, despite his consistently stubborn, angry attitude and arguing.  
"Clothes. Please." Merlin prodded, seeming to remember the 'please' last minute.  
Arthur ignored the request for now. He reached out and touched Merlin's jaw. Merlin jerked his head away, just as Arthur suspected he would.  
"Tell me what you see when you're in the dark alone." Arthur asked softly.  
Merlin looked away. "I don't want to talk about it."  
"I want to know." Arthur insisted. "I want to know what you see."  
Merlin's hand gripped the towel around his waist even tighter. "I would like my clothes back. I'm freezing."  
"In a moment. After you tell me what you see in the dark." Arthur assured him.  
Merlin took a deep breath through his nose resignedly. "I see.... shadowy things. Creatures."  
"Human?"  
"Somewhat... But not exactly." Merlin lifted his hand to his face and chewed on his thumbnail for a second before continuing. "The dark takes shapes of things. Things standing like a person... or on all fours like an animal. I see them wandering in the shadows. And when.... when you take my light away completely... they come very close. They stand and walk in front of me. They stare at me. I hide away from them, but I can feel them staring at my back. I-" Merlin swallowed and looked at his own feet. "I think I can feel them touching me when I turn away. That's why I bundle up in the blanket. So I can't feel them."  
Arthur never looked away from him for a second as he spoke. "Sounds scary." He said, keeping his voice soft, trying to sound like he believed Merlin.  
In reality, Arthur thought it was all cowardice on Merlin's part. The result of an overactive imagination and too much time alone. There were no scary shadow creatures down there. Arthur tended not to believe too much about shadow creatures and ghosts.  
"It is." Merlin whispered.  
"Sit down on my bed while I get your clothes." Arthur said. "It's been awhile since you've had something comfortable to lie on."  
Merlin must have agreed, because he sat down without much hesitation as Arthur went to the wardrobe.  
"Clean clothes for you, my love." Arthur said. "The old ones stank so much, I don't think the smell will over come out."  
Arthur set the clothes next to Merlin on the bed. Merlin reached for them, and Arthur grabbed his hand. Merlin looked up at him, surprised.  
Arthur sat next to Merlin, sliding the clothes away, still holding Merlin's left hand with his right, and resting the other hand on Merlin's knee. "No rush." Arthur's voice was soothing, even as Merlin tried to move away. "You should relax for a bit."  
Merlin tried to get his hand free, but Arthur tightened his grasp around the sorcerer's bony wrist. "I'm cold."  
"So get under my covers." Arthur offered, the thought of a naked Merlin burrowed under the covers of his bed intoxicating.  
"No." Merlin choked out. "Arthur, I want to get dressed, and I want to go back-"  
"Just try to relax. No rush." Arthur repeated, leaning in closer to Merlin. He smelled lovely; like almonds and something else. Something sweet. Something delicious.  
"Arthur." Merlin sounded scared, a change from his usual angry, snippy tone. "Arthur, please. What are you doing?"  
"Just trying to show you how you can enjoy this snippet of freedom while you can." Arthur leaned in, and nuzzled Merlin's neck.  
"No!" Merlin tried to roll away, but Arthur pinned him down easily.  
"I'll tell you how this will go." Arthur's voice was sickly sweet. "I have been patient. I have been kind. More kind than you deserve, if we're being honest. And I think I deserve to enjoy you how I want to. And I'm going to. Because, face it Merlin, it's not like you can fight me off."  
Merlin made a sound like a whimper, staring up at Arthur, terror plain on his face.  
"I want to make sure you enjoy this too. So, my lovely little Merlin, if you fight back in any way, or try to shout, though you would be an complete idiot to do so, I will put you back in that room, and you won't have any lights whatsoever for a very, very long time. Are we understood?"  
Merlin needed the threat. He needed the coercion so he could enjoy himself with Arthur. No threats meant fighting back. And fighting back meant he would be fighting the pleasure Arthur could give him.  
Merlin's eyes squeezed shut and Arthur saw a tear escape. " _Please, no._ " Merlin begged quietly.  
"I don't _want_ to put you in the dark." Arthur ran a hand through Merlin's still-drying hair. "I really don't. I _want_ you to enjoy this time with me, my love. But if you don't behave, then there has to be a punishment. So are we agreed? No fighting back? You get to keep the light?"  
Merlin's throat convulsed. "Arthur, I am _begging_ you not to do this-"  
Arthur grabbed a tuft of Merlin's hair and yanked painfully. "The offer is off the table in five, four, three-"  
"Don't take the light." Merlin's voice was a broken sob.  
"Good." Arthur's heart soared at such a victory. Stubborn Merlin, some of his defenses were finally crumbling down. Arthur nuzzled Merlin's neck. "Good Merlin."

***************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin's legs were weak as Arthur walked him back to the room. His stomach wouldn't stop churning, his mouth filled with a sour taste.  
Arthur led him into the room, back to the chains, and carefully snapped them back onto his sore, chafed wrists.  
Merlin's head hung dully as Arthur affectionately ran a hand through his hair. "I had the best time with you." Arthur kissed the side of Merlin's head, and Merlin couldn't even find the willpower to move away. "I'll see you tomorrow, my love."  
Merlin didn't move until he heard the door lock, then he collapsed heavily onto the ground, like a marionette whose strings were cut.

_Arthur bit and sucked at the shell of Merlin's ears, noisily slurping at the skin like it was a delicious soup. Merlin's face was screwed up in pain and disgust as he felt Arthur's drool pooling in the creases of his ears._   
_Arthur's left hand clumsily peeled away the towel, and Merlin instinctively went to cover himself up._   
_"Don't. No." Arthur kissed Merlin's cheek, pulling back to look at him. "You're so beautiful."_

Merlin's chest heaved. He could still feel the wetness of the prince's saliva that had dripped into his ear, and he began rubbing his ears to get the feeling out.

_"One day, I'll hire someone to paint your portrait." Arthur said, in between sucking and biting Merlin's neck harshly. "I'll hang it up in the royal bedchambers, so I can look at you in all your beauty whenever I want to."_   
_Merlin winced, not at the words, but at the sharp teeth gnawing at the tender skin of his neck roughly._

Merlin crawled over to his blanket, wrapping himself in it like a cocoon, burying his face in it, unable to stop replaying the evening's events in his head over and over.

 _Arthur excitedly grinded and thrusted his fully clothed erection against Merlin's bare thighs, panting heavily. "Oh my gods... oh my gods." He drawled out in a whisper._  
 _Merlin shut his eyes tightly, trying to pretend he was anywhere else, anywhere but here, lying naked and vulnerable in Arthur's bed, the prince's spit drying on his body._  
 _Merlin can't stop the wheeze of fear and dread as Arthur slightly adjusts himself so he can undo his laces and get his cock free. Merlin doesn't open his eyes, doesn't want to see it at all, bile rising in his throat, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. Blood roars in his ears, but it doesn't stop him from hearing Arthur pull down his trousers._  
 _Merlin wonders if Arthur will care that Merlin is still entirely soft between his legs, a very clear indicator of how much he_ doesn't _want this. He wonders if Arthur will get angry that Merlin's body has no reactions to his touches._  
 _"Gods, you have no idea how badly I have wanted this._ Needed _this." Arthur whispers, already sounding out of breath. "Waiting for some opportunity, some chink in your armor so we can have this moment." Merlin feels Arthur's weight on him, and he lets out a low whine in that back of his throat._

Merlin takes the corner of the blanket, and starts abrasively scrubbing at his skin, his chest tight, blinking back the tears. He wants to scrub the layer of his skin off that Arthur touched, that Arthur _defiled_.

_Merlin feels something stiff and hot brushing his stomach and it makes his gut wrench. He twists his head off to the side, eyes still shut. "Arthur." He manages to say, his throat tight._   
_He wants to talk some sense into Arthur, somehow convince him not to continue this. But his voice stops working, and the words catch in his throat._   
_"Merlin." Arthur practically coos. "My Merlin. I've got you."_   
_Merlin's mouth is coated in a sour taste as he feels Arthur rub his erection against the soft skin of Merlin's stomach. He hears Arthur make a sound of pleasure he never wanted to hear, and the prince grabs the tender skin of Merlin's waist, pinching, squeezing, kneading._   
_Merlin twists in discomfort, the feel of Arthur's nails digging in and pulling at his flesh uncomfortable to say the least._   
_Arthur rubs and rubs, speeding up, half-bitten words uttered breathlessly in Merlin's sore ears._   
_Merlin lays there stiffly, every muscle in his body tense._   
_He hears Arthur draw in a sharp breath, exhaling shakily. Merlin makes a disgusted sound as he feels the warm splashes of Arthur's release on his stomach._

Merlin scratches and scrubs at the skin of his stomach, still trembling at the memory.  
He is only grateful that Arthur didn't actually penetrate him. He wasn't sure why he didn't... Merlin had been positive that's where the evening was headed, and he had been thinking he wouldn't be able to keep from crying out in pain, since he didn't think Arthur would be the type to prep his victims.

 _Arthur gets up, a smile on his face. He looks down at Merlin, who finally opens his eyes. Arthur grins down at him. "That was... incredible." Arthur says, nothing but excitement in his voice. "That was so perfect."_  
 _Merlin stares blankly back at him, a flurry of emotions going through him all at once._  
 _He wanted to cry._  
 _He wanted to slap Arthur._  
 _He wanted to scream and just get it over with. Let the guards come. They might execute Merlin eventually, but they'd see a naked, emaciated Merlin covered in the prince's seed first. The people should know the type of man Arthur truly was._  
 _Arthur gets up, nonplussed at Merlin's blank stares. Merlin can scarcely believe at first, but the prince is_ humming _. Actually_ humming _a lively tune while he searches for a rag and wipes himself clean._  
 _Merlin manages to sit up, retching uncontrollably when he feels some of the cum on his stomach trickle down. He looks at it, thick and white, coating his skin._  
 _He feels something land next to him, and he looks at it numbly. It's the rag Arthur just used to clean himself up with. He looks at the prince dully._  
 _"Go on. Clean up and get dressed. You need to be back soon." Arthur still has that insufferable grin on his face, his tone cheery._  
 _Merlin waits until Arthur isn't looking, and then uses the corner of the blanket to wipe himself off._

Merlin's skin is raw and presumably red, if he could see it well enough. He can't seem to stop shaking.  
Damn him.  
Damn Arthur.  
Damn the prince for seeing Merlin's fear of the dark and what he fears is lurking where he cannot see.  
Merlin curses himself as well. For being so afraid of the dark that he allowed the prince to win a battle over him.  
He remembers his promise to Artemis and he makes a pained noise.  
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep a single promise to Artemis. He couldn't keep him safe, and he couldn't even honor Artemis' memory by refusing to let Arthur win.  
Arthur was victorious at last. Merlin kept up a good fight, but like any good soldier, Arthur had observed, and strategized, and eventually found something that would give him the edge over Merlin.  
And what would make him stop? Merlin so greatly feared what he imagined was in the dark (no matter how many times he tried to convince himself there was nothing there), that Arthur could use it as a threat over and over. He could escalate things. He had the upper hand now, all because Merlin could not make himself stop being afraid of the shadows.  
So ridiculous, so stupid. Merlin thudded his forehead against the stone a few times.  
 _Nothing is there._  
 _Nothing is there._  
 _No moving shadows, no monsters._  
 _The only monster is Arthur._  
Merlin inhaled a shaky breath.  
Arthur won tonight. There was no doubt about that.  
But tomorrow was another day.  
Merlin lifted his head and stared into the corner where the light didn't quite reach, the dark corner he avoided looking at the most.  
He was stronger than this.  
He would not let Arthur maintain victory over him.  
He imagined Arthur strutting around his chambers, grinning that awful grin, celebrating the win over Merlin.  
It infuriated him.  
Arthur had won once. It would not happen again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long for me to finish and post. Lots of typing, deleting, and editing took place before I was FINALLY somewhat satisfied with the ending.  
> I hope you enjoy.

Arthur sat with Merlin in the cold room, contemplating his next move on the board.  
Merlin had been silent most of the evening, which wasn't unusual, but his body language wasn't as closed-off as it typically was. He kept making quick glances at Arthur, sometimes opening his mouth like he wanted to say something, then shutting it again.  
It was just one day after Arthur had essentially coerced Merlin into allowing Arthur to do what he did to him on his bed. Arthur, naturally, felt no guilt about the coercion and in fact had been practically walking on clouds the entire day, reminiscing every second of free time he had about how it had felt to finally press his flesh against Merlin's, kissing Merlin's delectably soft neck, nipping those ridiculous ears...  
How delightful it had felt to rub his arousal against the silky smooth skin of Merlin's stomach until he came all over it like an inexperienced lad.  
How exhilarating it was to hear his name catch in Merlin's throat, in the midst of it all.  
Merlin had been stiff as a board the entire time, but Arthur didn't care one bit. That night was not about Merlin. It was about Arthur finally taking what he deserved, after all the resentment and bitter words Merlin had thrown at him all these months. It had been high time Arthur took his pleasure from the defenseless sorcerer.  
"Your move." He heard Merlin say quietly.  
Arthur blinked, realizing he had been lost in thought for quite some time. He moved his piece haphazardly, not really caring much about the game.  
Merlin ran his fingers across the blanket he always had with him, tugging at the fur thoughtfully as he pondered his next move.  
"Your blanket reeks." Arthur commented. "It smells like a wet, stray dog dragged it through the mud, and then slept on it for a month straight."  
"Not much I can do about that." Merlin replied without any emotion.  
"How do you stand it?"  
"Gotten used to it." Merlin said shortly, moving his next piece and waiting for Arthur's move.  
There was a long stretch of silence.  
"Could we maybe try a different game tomorrow night?" Merlin said at last.  
Arthur looked up at him. "Do you have one in mind?"  
"No. I'm just... tired of this one."  
Arthur concurred. "I can bring a different one then."  
Merlin swallowed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. ".... Thank you." He muttered quietly.  
Arthur angled his head, regarding him with some curiosity. Merlin showing a bit of genuine gratitude? That was new.  
And unlikely to happen again.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"I'll teach you how to play a new game here in a bit after you eat." Arthur set down the basket in front of Merlin, who was sitting cross-legged against the farthest wall. "I brought you a small treat."  
Arthur pulled out a small saucer with a plain cloth napkin over it, pulling the napkin off to reveal a piece of cake.  
He saw Merlin perk up, and his eyes brightened. "Cake?" He said, leaning forward to take it and the fork from Arthur.  
Arthur smiled at his expression. "I thought it might be nice for you."  
Merlin took a large bite and chewed with great relish, seeming almost reluctant to swallow. "Gods, that is good." He said, licking his lips and going for another bite.  
"When you are done eating your dessert first," Arthur said good-naturedly, "I brought you chicken for dinner."  
Merlin acknowledged that, drinking some water after he finished his treat.  
Merlin reached for the chicken plate as Arthur got out the small, painted, wooden tiles for the new game. "Have you played anything with these before?" Arthur queried.  
Merlin shook his head. "I've seen people play with them, but I never really had much interest in them before."  
"Well, there's a few games I can teach you." Arthur said. "If you want to try and learn."  
Merlin paused, chicken halfway to his mouth. He slowly set the chicken piece back down and looked at Arthur, _really_ looking at him, like he was trying to memorize every part of his face.  
Arthur stopped setting out the tiles. "Something wrong?" The way Merlin was staring at him made his skin prickle, and not in a good way.  
Merlin sucked his lower lip in, and chewed on it.  
"Merlin?"  
Merlin cast his eyes downward. "Thanks."  
"Of course." Arthur said flippantly.  
"I mean.... thanks for.... all of it. Everything." Merlin picked at the hem of his trouser leg.  
Arthur watched the movement, trying to figure out how to proceed. Merlin spoke again, stirring him from gathering his words. "You didn't have to bring the cake. Or the games. Or the blanket... You feed me pretty well. And you insist on keeping me company, despite how I speak to you..." Merlin blinked hard several times. When he spoke again, his voice was shaky. "You keep being kind, even after the things I've said and done. So thank you. Thank you, Arthur."  
Part of Arthur thought this would never happen, in spite of his dreams. He could scarcely believe Merlin had finally, after all Arthur had done for him, after all the lashing out and bitter words and insults Merlin had flung at him all these months, shown him he was grateful.  
Arthur saw Merlin's shoulders tremble with emotion and he reached out, placing both hands reassuringly on Merlin's shoulders. "Of course, of course." Arthur said. "I'd never give up on you. I promised."

***************************************************************************************************************************************

 _You know why I had to say it, Artemis. I had to. I didn't want to. I felt like I had to force every word out, telling him what he longed to hear. I'm doing this for you, my love. Always for you_.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Is it snowing tonight?" Merlin asked the next night, biting into a roll.  
"No." Arthur replied. "It hasn't since that one night."  
Merlin stiffened almost imperceptibly when Arthur said, 'that one night', then relaxed.  
Arthur hadn't mentioned what he had done, even in passing. He knew Merlin was not a willing participant that night, so he didn't feel the need to bring it up as if it were something they had both enjoyed together.  
"Has it been very cold?"  
"Pretty cold. Icy. I had to cancel training today. Too slippery."  
"Rivers frozen over?"  
"Just about." Arthur tilted his head. "You're very talkative tonight."  
"I just want to know what it's like outside. Outside this little room." Merlin picked up a fork, preparing to eat the pork Arthur had also provided him. "I miss seeing the moon. The stars. The icicles, this time of year...." Merlin sighed wistfully. "If it were warmer, I'd be thinking about lying in the sun, maybe by the lake.... listening to the birds. This time of year, all I can think about is curling up by a warm fire, drinking ciders and mulled wine, watching it snow outside, listening to the crunching footsteps of people outside walking through the snow, trying to get to their own warm homes." Merlin's lower lip quivered and he sucked on it for a second before continuing. "And then, once I would be warm and feeling sleepy, curling up under layers of blankets in a soft bed, going to sleep, maybe waking up to a fresh, untouched layer of snow in the morning."  
Arthur listened to his words, listened to the sound of longing and yearning in his voice.  
He could see the image Merlin was painting vividly. The idea of being wrapped in a heavy blanket in front of a fire, eating and drinking, cozy and lazy inside, safe from the freezing weather, it was indeed tantalizing. Particularly when he pictured himself with Merlin, sitting in front of that fire, his arm around the sorcerer, perhaps discussing how they should be in bed if they want to get up early, but neither person actually wanting to move out from the warmth of the blanket, the fire, and each other's company.  
"You'll have that again." Arthur said. "One day."  
Merlin's eyes lowered, and Arthur heard a small, sad sigh, like Merlin didn't quite believe him.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"I brought sweetrolls and some socks for your feet. I know you said it's-" Arthur trailed off when he saw Merlin sprawled flat on his stomach, on top of his blanket, in a very deep sleep.  
Arthur carefully shut the door and set down the basket. Curious that Merlin was asleep at this hour. He was usually wide awake at this time. Arthur had assumed his nights and days were a bit jumbled up.  
"Merlin?" Arthur called to him softly, walking over to him, trying not to startle him awake.  
Arthur leaned over Merlin, trying to get a good look at his face.  
Merlin head was turned to the left, facing the wall. Arthur saw his lips moving, and his fingers were twitching.  
 _He must be dreaming._ Arthur thought fondly, laying down next to him, and gently petting the back of his head, trying to slowly rouse him.  
He heard Merlin mumble and smack his lips, one arm stretching above his head.  
 _Will it be like this in the future? Lying beside him in bed?_ Arthur felt heat stir in his stomach at the thought. He could see it, stretching out in the early morning besides a still-sleeping, lazy Merlin. Merlin would be in finespun bedclothes, soft and supple. He might grumble at Arthur's attempts to rouse him, try to burrow further under the soft covers...  
Arthur smiled, running the back of his hand down Merlin's cheek. To be free to be a little slothful in the early morning with his lover, the quiet conversations, the lazy lounging and putting off the day, the warmth of Merlin huddling in his arms, accepting the embrace of his king-  
"Artemis." Merlin mumbled.  
Arthur stiffened. He sat up at once.  
Merlin had a sleepy smile on his face, still dreaming. His fingers curled and he exhaled a contented sigh.  
 _He's dreaming about that wretched whore, isn't he?_.  
Arthur was furious and he saw red before raising his hand and slapping Merlin hard across his face.  
Merlin gasped and fumbled awake, looking dazed and frightened. He rubbed his face in disbelief where Arthur had hit him. "What's going on? I didn't do anything!" He shouted.  
"You were dreaming about Artemis, weren't you?" Arthur demanded.  
Merlin shook his head rapidly. "I wasn't!"  
Arthur grabbed him by the throat, shoved him down onto the floor, hovering over him, squeezing the sides of his neck. "I heard you say his name in your sleep."  
Merlin eyes were wide and he still tried to shake his head. "Wasn't." He croaked out.  
"I warned you didn't I? About what would happen if you didn't get that mute wretch out of your head?"  
Merlin's eyes filled with fear. "Sire, please." He swallowed, and Arthur felt the movement under his hand. "It was a dream. Can't control that. Please."  
Arthur released his throat and Merlin sucked in a gulp of air, sitting up. Of course Merlin was right.... Merlin couldn't help dreaming about him...  
"Do you think about him?" Arthur asked.  
Merlin didn't answer, rubbing his neck where Arthur had seized him.  
"When you're alone down here, do you think about him?"  
Merlin didn't look Arthur in the eye. "No." He muttered.  
Arthur backhanded him across the face again and Merlin cried out. "You are a damned liar." He growled.  
"What answer did you want me to give!?" Merlin shouted. "If I said yes, you would be just as angry."  
"I want the truth. You still think about him. Don't you?"  
Merlin shook his head. "No." He flinched right before Arthur hit him again and he sobbed.  
"Stop lying to me! I know you still do!"  
"I'm trying to forget him, alright?" Merlin said, distraught. "I think about him, but I try not to. I try.... I try to think about us... and the future you say we will build." Merlin curled in on himself, looking away from Arthur. "I'm trying to move on... I'm trying to let him go. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I dreamed about him. But I can't control dreams."  
The skin on Arthur's palm tingled and burned from striking Merlin. He looked at his own hand, digesting Merlin's words.  
"Of course you can't stop from dreaming about him." Arthur muttered his begrudging concession. "And if you are trying to get him out of your head-"  
"I am." Merlin swore.  
"... I shouldn't have struck you. I'm so jealous over you, Merlin." Arthur reached out and touched Merlin's face, feeling pity when Merlin automatically flinched. "You forgive me?"  
"Of course." Merlin managed a smile.  
Arthur ran his hand through Merlin's hair. "Your hair is so shaggy. We shall have to remedy that."  
Merlin said nothing, looking at the basket behind Arthur. "Starving." He said simply.  
"Let me get your food." Arthur stood up and went to the basket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _He stole my dream away from me._ Merlin felt a swirl of bitterness and hate in his chest as he watched Arthur get him the food. _Striking me, trying to control my thoughts. You'll never have me, Arthur Pendragon. I swear, I will seek vengeance for what you did to Artemis and your blood will spill on the ground by my hand._

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Um." Merlin stepped back from Arthur nervously. "Are you sure you know what you're doing with those?"  
Arthur rolled his eyes, opening and closing the scissors pointedly. "Obviously. I've been using scissors for years, Merlin. It's not exactly something you have to get an apprenticeship for."  
"I meant, using it on hair."  
"Can't be that hard." Arthur waved him closer. "Come on now. I told you last night I was going to remedy that shaggy mess, didn't I? Let's get this over with."  
Merlin came closer, but he didn't look happy about it. "There's not much light...."  
Arthur huffed. "I'm not trying to win an award for haircutting, Merlin. Just giving you a trim." Arthur picked up some of his hair, and Merlin winced as Arthur snipped quickly, and very close to the scalp. "See? First snip, done."  
Merlin sucked in air sharply as Arthur messily cut another clump, and another. "Wait. Can you do something different?"  
"Like what?" Arthur asked, annoyed.  
"Just, take your fingers, and use them to measure."  
"How do you mean?"  
Merlin slid two fingers into his hair, at the scalp, and used his other hand to pick up the separated lock of hair. "And then just... cut at the top of the fingers." He mimicked cutting. "That way it's more even."  
"Hm." Arthur did as he suggested, taking more measured cuts, using his fingers as a guide. Merlin seemed more relaxed, and Arthur became more confident as he cut lock after lock of hair, the black pieces falling in a pile to the ground.  
Arthur ran his fingers through Merlin's dark hair, looking for any parts he missed as Merlin stayed still.  
Once Arthur decided he hadn't missed a single spot, his hands slowed, his touch became a bit more caressing. Merlin noticed the change and Arthur noticed that he stiffened a bit.  
Arthur pressed his nose to the back of Merlin's neck, right at his hairline. He nuzzled there, and then pursed his lips, landing a soft kiss.  
Merlin didn't resist, didn't move at all, didn't say a word.  
"I love you, Merlin." Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear before kissing it as well. He felt a barely perceivable twitch from Merlin, but he decided not to get offended by it.  
Merlin was learning. Arthur could feel it. Merlin was _finally_ adjusting to his presence, allowing Arthur to be closer, actually having conversations with him.... it was incredible, and Arthur was feeling hope that Merlin was actually going to fully accept his future roles, and do what Arthur wanted.  
The scissors dropped from Arthur's hand, and the clang made Merlin jump.  
"Sh. Just the scissors, love." Arthur rested his hands on Merlin's hips, still standing directly behind him, pressing small kisses to Merlin's neck, just above the clasp.  
Merlin slowly, gradually, like he didn't want to make Arthur mad, turned around to face Arthur, staring into his eyes. Then his eyes gradually looked downward, past Arthur, at a spot on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_I could take those scissors.... snatch them up off the floor.... and jab it right into his chest. Right in his heart. And I'd twist it in the wound. It would be so quick. He wouldn't even have time to shout. He would be so shocked, wouldn't he, Artemis? Shocked that I could be so quick and brutal._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur turned and bent down, picking up the scissors. "You look a lot better now." He said, walking over to the basket and dropping the scissors inside. "More like you used to."  
Merlin reached up slowly and touched his hair, feeling all around his scalp. "Thank you." He said quietly.  
"Anything for you, Merlin."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Flip over the red tile now."  
"Huh?"  
"Red tile." Arthur tapped it. "You need to flip it over now."  
".... Why?"  
Arthur huffed in annoyance. "Because I played my knight tile."  
Merlin looked more confused than ever. "But you said if I had the tile with the stars on it, your knight tile was useless..."  
"For two turns." Arthur reminded him.  
"So...."  
"So flip over your red tile."  
Merlin still didn't look like he got it but he flipped it over.  
"And now I play the tile with the leaf-"  
"Hang on." Merlin stopped him. "You just went. You just played the knight and now it's my turn."  
"Flipping over the red tile _was_ your turn."  
".... What?" Merlin shook his head. "You told me I _had_ to."  
"And you did. And that ended your turn. Now, I play my tile with the leaf-"  
"No, no." Merlin shook his head, leaning back onto his hands. "I give up. I don't understand this game one bit."  
Arthur sighed but didn't argue. This game _was_ a bit complex... he shouldn't have suggested it.  
Merlin picked up his waterskin and took a drink. Arthur watched his throat constrict as he drank.  
"Some of the snow melted today." Arthur told Merlin.  
Merlin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Oh?"  
Arthur nodded. "Hopefully it doesn't freeze back over. I've had it with all this ice everywhere. Walking around outside without falling flat on one's backside is a challenge."  
Merlin laughed and Arthur grinned in response. Seeing Merlin happy... it warmed his heart.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"I must be a fool, inviting you into my chambers again so soon after your last visit."  
Arthur poured some fragrant oils into the hot bath. The steam from the bath made the air smell like lavender.  
Merlin wandered around the room, looking at the items on the shelves. "All your decorations and such got moved around after I left your service, I think." He noticed.  
"Naturally." Arthur said. "I have to switch things up every so often, you know."  
Truth was, a lot of his decorative items and daggers and such had been removed after his outbursts started.... after Merlin had run off with Artemis. And when he got them back, the servants just placed them neatly where they looked good, not worrying about the previous placements. So everything was completely different. So much time had passed, he didn't even think about it now.  
"Did you just now notice how different it all looked?" Arthur asked.  
Merlin was looking at his array of daggers, unsheathed and displayed neatly on little racks on his shelves. "I wasn't looking too closely the last two times I was up here." He replied.  
"Come and take your bath, love." Arthur beckoned him.  
Merlin looked back at him. "What's it like outside?" He asked. "Can you describe it to me? Since... I'm not allowed to look outside."  
The melancholy note at the end of his request made Arthur's heart melt a little, and he obliged.  
He went over to the window. "The snow and ice is melting. There are rivets of water pouring off the castle roof. The ground outside is glistening in the moonlight. There are clouds everywhere, but the moon is so bright that it's glowing right through them. Some guards are talking to each other. I see a guard dog, lapping at one of the puddles of melted snow. The flags are waving in the wind. A servant, at least I assume it's a servant, is moving some sacks inside into the castle. Not sure what's in the sacks, though."  
Arthur turned and saw Merlin standing by his bed, hands clasped behind his back. Merlin had a small smile on his face. "Thank you." He said.  
"You thank me so much now." Arthur went over to him.  
"I know." Merlin said simply. "I think I'll take that bath now."  
He pulled off his shirt, stretching and rolling his shoulders back, dropping the shirt to the ground. He untied the belt from around his trousers, and instantly the trousers started slipping off his emaciated frame.  
Merlin lowered his trousers the rest of the way to the floor, and Arthur found himself mesmerized as Merlin strode slowly, but with purpose, to the tub.  
Arthur stared at him until Merlin turned back to look, his lips curved upwards slightly in a gentle smile. He held out his hand. "Would you like to watch me?" He asked.  
Arthur's legs felt numb as they carried him without question over to Merlin.  
Merlin carefully got into the tub, and then sank into the hot water with a long, contented sigh. His chin touched the water as he rested his head against the back of the tub and closed his eyes.  
Arthur knelt in the floor beside him. "I want you to take your time." He told Merlin. " Relax. I have some wine for us after you are done."  
Merlin looked at him and smiled. "You are very good to me, Arthur." He said softly.  
Arthur's heart soared. "Of course I am. Anything to make this easier on you." Arthur dipped his fingers into the water. "I don't like you being down there, all alone. I want to give you everything you need and want to make things a little better for you."  
Merlin looked at him for a moment, very serious, like he was thinking. Then his smile returned. "Could you... wash my back?"  
Arthur cleared his throat as Merlin leaned forward, exposing his bare back. "I can."  
As the prince reached for the soap and cloth, he briefly thought of what people would say if they saw this. Of what his father might say. A man of noble blood, cleaning up another man of lowly birth. A former servant. And a sorcerer.  
Arthur wet the cloth, soaped it up, and set to work, gently cleaning Merlin's back in small circles.  
Merlin's spine jutted out sickeningly, knobby bones running down the length of his back. His shoulders were bony, not a single layer of fat on them, Arthur noted as he ran the cloth over them as well.  
"You are so thin." Arthur murmured fretfully, rubbing each vertebrae of Merlin's spine individually.  
Merlin's shoulders drooped a bit.  
"First order of business when I am king is going to be to fatten you up." Arthur said, only half-jesting. "I'll have a feast cooked in your honor." Arthur continued. "Pheasant, pork, boar, all kinds of roasted vegetables, fancy desserts, any sort of drink you can imagine. You can sit beside me at the table. There will be toasts all round, drinking to you, my new court sorcerer. There will be all sorts of festivities and entertainment, all for you, my Merlin. Just for you."  
Merlin stayed still, back arched as Arthur ran the cloth over his skin repeatedly. Arthur slid the rag up to clean his neck, running it over the clasp. "This obect... this tiny piece of jewelry.... keeping all that power locked inside you." Arthur said, his tone one of awe. "When it's finally off, you can show me your true strength. I can't wait to see it. You using your magic for the kingdom..." Arthur paused the movements of the cloth, using his free hand to touch Merlin's chin, making him look at the prince. "Using it for your king."  
Merlin straightened up and quickly took the cloth from Arthur. He gave the prince a tight smile. "Thank you, Arthur." He said. "I can take it from here."  
Arthur's jaw tightened, and his loving touch to Merlin's face turned cruel in a second, wrenching Merlin's face, forcing him to look at Arthur again. "Is there nothing you wish to say to me?" Arthur's fingers dug harshly into Merlin's jaw.  
"I don't understand, Arthur-"  
Arthur snorted. "You are to be given a position in my court one day, Merlin. I've told you time and time again that ways I will honor you. Spoil you. And yet always, you say nothing to it." Arthur released Merlin's chin roughly. "Having some appreciation for my sacrifices would be nice."  
Merlin's gaze dropped. "I'm sorry, I just-" He stared at the soapy layer that formed on the surface. "When you talk of these things... it seems so far away. It- It's hard. It's hard for me to grasp it all. Our future. Right now, I am kept in a small, dark room, fed once a day, not allowed to even _look_ outside. When you talk about the future you have planned for me, it's hard for me to envision it all like how you see it."  
Arthur felt maybe he was too harsh before. He had his visions and dreams about the future, seeing everything fate had in store, so he had a bit more hope of how things would turn out. Merlin didn't have that luxury.  
"I'm sorry." Arthur said sincerely. He leaned in and kissed Merlin's wet temple. "I know this is hard for you. I just hope my words and promises can help give you hope for the times ahead. It won't always be like this for you, love. Just hold onto my promises, alright?"  
Merlin looked slightly more reassured, looking at Arthur with a small smile. "I'll try, Arthur."  
"Good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur sat at his desk, leaning back in his chair and watching Merlin, who had long since set down his cup of wine and stretched out on the prince's bed. He lay on the side farthest from Arthur, closest to the door, one arm behind his head, the other dangling off the bed. He looked peaceful.  
Arthur wondered if they would have nights like this once he was king. Nights of Arthur sitting at his desk, penning a treaty or perhaps a speech, while Merlin stretched out on his bed, relaxed and at ease, resting after a long day of meetings and discussions and mixing up potions and flipping through books of magic.  
Maybe Arthur would go to him after he was tired of writing, exhausted from being a king, and lay on the bed beside his Merlin. Merlin might turn to him, eyes tired but sparkling, and splay those long, lithe fingers across Arthur's chest, getting in close to his king.  
Arthur pictured those same fingers travelling down, down, down, until they were plucking at Arthur's trouser laces, opening up the fly, slipping in, wrapping around Arthur's aching-  
Arthur shifted in his chair, his trousers feeling tight. Merlin didn't look over, still looking up at the ceiling. Arthur saw his mouth twitch into a smirk, and he wondered what had amused his Merlin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin fingered the hilt of the dagger he had managed to hide away under the mattress.  
It had been shockingly easy to quickly snatch the dagger from Arthur's displays once he distracted Arthur by asking him to tell Merlin what was happening outside. He had silently, heart pounding in his throat, snatched a dagger off the shelf, and speed-walked (more like very fast tip-toeing, but still) over to the bed, sticking the dagger under the mattress. He'd quickly smiled once Arthur turned back around, hoping Arthur didn't notice the fast way he was breathing through his nose, mostly due to nerves.  
Merlin didn't have much faith in his seduction skills, but he knew he needed to keep Arthur away from the bed, for fear he might somehow discover the concealed dagger. It would all be over then, Arthur's wrath would be great, to be sure, and Merlin would lose all hope of ever gaining his trust back in the future.  
So Merlin took off his clothes (he decided slow was equal to sensual in this scenario) and had Arthur practically spellbound, walking after him to watch him in his bath.  
Merlin felt dirty, seducing the prince and behaving like that to keep his attention unwavering, but it had a purpose. It would be worth it the second Arthur's blood would spill, then the cursed clasp around Merlin's neck would finally break loose as Arthur drew his final, rattling breath.

_Arthur hovered over Merlin, leaning in._   
_"You should kiss me." Merlin whispered, his fingers slipping under the mattress discreetly, curling them around the dagger's smooth hilt._   
_Arthur's eyes go wide, his pupils dilate with want, and the prince leans in, turns his head just slightly, preparing to meet Merlin's mouth._   
_In an instant, the dagger was removed from it's hiding place and the blade was swiftly jabbed into Arthur's neck. The prince's eyes grew wide with shock, then realization, then anger._   
_Merlin shoves the blade in deeper, dragging it across Arthur's neck, he watches the blood pour out, relishing in the way it covers him, like warm victory-_

"What are you thinking about, love?" Arthur called out to him.  
Merlin was shaken from his fantasies. "Nothing." He smiled at Arthur, the warmest smile he could manage. "Why are you all the way over there, at your desk? You should be over here with me."  
Arthur chuckled at that, and stood up, walking over to him. "You're right." He said. He climbed into bed, walking on his hands and knees over to Merlin, sprawling out on his side next to the sorcerer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You smell so good." Arthur planted a kiss on Merlin's hairline. "And you look radiant."  
Merlin nipped his lip at that, and Arthur followed the movement with his eyes hungrily.  
"Hey." Merlin said, his voice impossibly soft. "I think you should kiss me."  
Arthur's mind went blank at hearing that, and he heard himself give a rough swallow. "What?" He said, his voice croaking in a very unseemly way.  
Merlin tilted his head at Arthur, looking amused at the reaction. "I said you should kiss me. I know you want to." The arm behind Merlin's head moved to lightly trace Arthur's collarbone. "So do it. Kiss me." And his chin tilts upward, an invitation Arthur can't resist.  
Arthur's breath quickened, betraying his excitement and nerves. He leaned in slightly, eyes flitting from Merlin's eyes to his tempting mouth, unable to fully comprehend what was happening.  
Merlin wants this.  
Merlin.... _asked_ for this.  
Arthur can scarcely believe this isn't one of his dreams.  
The prince's lips trembled as they moved closer and closer to Merlin's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin's fingers dug under the mattress, wrapping fully around the hilt of the dagger. He licked his lips, his eyes going to Arthur's neck, the soon-to-be target of his blade.  
Just as Arthur was about to press his mouth onto Merlin's, the prince froze. His eyes opened wide and he sat up straight.  
For a horrible second, Merlin thought Arthur had somehow sniffed out his plan, and his entire body went cold with fear.  
But then Arthur hissed at him, "Under the bed, someone is coming!"  
He more or less shoved Merlin off the bed, and Merlin scrambled to get under it.  
Arthur pushed and shoved Merlin under the bed. There came a loud knock at the door, and Arthur straightened up, walked a bit away from the bed, and said, in the calmest voice imaginable, "Come in."  
Merlin heard the door open, and Arthur greeted the person with some surprise. "Father. Why are you here at this hour?"  
Merlin's eyes grew wide. Of all people, the king? Merlin became very aware of the sound of his own breathing, hearing it echo loudly in his own ears. He fought to slow it down, his body stiff, terrified to move, terrified the king might possibly hear him.  
"I needed to speak with you." The king's footsteps moved closer to the table. Merlin heard him lift a pitcher and pour himself a drink. "I quite honestly didn't expect you to be here."  
"I don't understand..." Arthur sounded confused. "You came to see me but you didn't think I was here?"  
There was silence, until Uther said, "Some servants and even the guards have reported that you aren't always in your room when they check on you at night."  
"Check on me?" Arthur's voice was incredulous. "You have people come into my chambers at night to see if I'm in here?"  
"I only started ordering it a month ago, Arthur. When it came to my attention that your chambers are frequently empty after you've already retired to bed. I was concerned for you."  
Uther's words were one of a concerned father, but his tone was scolding and firm.  
"I am the prince." Arthur bit out. "I can come and go as I please. Are you trying to say that I am once again a prisoner in my own room at night? That I am not permitted to move about freely if I wish?"  
" **You will watch your tone with me, Arthur**." Uther warned. "You may be a prince, but as you are my sole heir, your safety is one of my top priorities. I don't know where you are sneaking off to, but it ends now. I've let it go on for too long."  
"I stay in the castle, Father." Arthur insisted. "There's no need to ban me simply wandering around at night."  
"No guards have ever seen you." Uther told him. "How do I know what you are saying is true? How can I trust you? You've been sneaking off without my knowledge for some time now, I'm sure."  
"I stay out of sight because I knew they would report it to you."  
"So you knew it was wrong." The king stated.  
"It's not wrong!" Arthur shouted. "I just knew you would disapprove."  
"So why do it? Why, when you knew I wouldn't like it?"  
"I need... I need time for me." Arthur's tone changed from angry to wistful. "I like the early nighttime, when most people are gone from the halls and I can be at peace and roam anywhere I please. No one stopping me, nowhere to be. It's just... it's a relaxing time for me. I need it to unwind."  
Hearing those words made Merlin's heart soften a little for the prince. It was a complete lie, sure, but the emotion behind it sounded entirely real.  
Uther, however, was not as moved. "It's words like that that make me certain you are not ready to be king." He said cruelly.  
. _..Ouch_. Merlin almost felt sorry for Arthur.  
Arthur's next words were filled with hurt. "What is that supposed to mean, Father?"  
"As king, there will be no such luxury for you. The duties that weigh on you everyday are far heavier than your duties as prince. And if being a prince is such a burden to you now, how will you ever handle what is expected of you as a king?"  
"I know what it takes to be king-"  
"You've no idea."  
"You've always treated me like this!" Arthur shouted at him. "You act like I can do nothing right!"  
"Keep your voice down."  
"Wandering around the castle at night to unwind in no way means I am unfit to take over this kingdom one day." Arthur said. "The fact that you would say that is insane."  
" **Watch what you say to me, Arthur.** " Uther said.  
There was some tense silence, and Merlin found that he was holding his breath.  
"Ever since the stress of your status caused your breakdown, I've worried over how you would take to ruling this kingdom one day."  
"That is well in the past-"  
"You been more withdrawn the past several months. You're short-tempered, head in the clouds again-"  
"You are blowing this entire thing well out of proportion. There is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with me-"  
"You've been inattentive, you've cancelled training three times this week-"  
"The weather is bad, of course I've had to cancel-"  
"You've been asking for excessive amounts of food for your dinner. I've noticed you drinking at every meal-"  
"Why do you nitpick at everything I do!?"  
Merlin listened to them going back and forth for several minutes, interrupting each other, often shouting. Arthur's voice was loud, but it couldn't hide the pain as Uther pointed out every single flaw, every little mistake he had noticed, every way Arthur had displeased him. It honestly made Merlin feel bad for Arthur. Hearing your own parent pick and pick at everything they thought you did wrong...  
Merlin turned his head slowly to the right and was taken aback at what he saw.  
Were those...?  
Stockings?  
 _Women's_ stockings?  
The shouting match was still going on, so Merlin carefully reached over and grabbed them, drawing them closer, inspecting them.  
What were women's stockings doing hiding under Arthur's bed? Either Arthur secretly liked to play dress-up, or...  
Merlin noticed the fighting had died down, and he tore his attention from the stockings to hear what was next.  
"I'll never be good enough for you. Will I, Father?" Arthur's voice was calm with underlying sadness.  
Merlin strained his ears to hear what Uther would say next.  
But the king said nothing. Merlin heard him walk to the door, open it, slamming it shut behind him.  
Merlin heard Arthur give a disbelieving laugh, heard him pour himself some wine, gulp it noisily, and then throw the goblet at his shelf.  
Merlin heard the crash of various items fall. Arthur started pacing, his boots scuffing and scraping along the stone. Merlin could hear the occasional sound of metal or glass breaking, and he cringed each time. Arthur was going through his emotions the only way he really knew how to.  
Merlin felt hands grab his ankles, and he was dragged out from under the bed, still clutching the stockings.  
Arthur looked wretched, his face stony and furious, but not because of Merlin. Merlin stared up at the prince. "Are you okay?" Merlin whispered.  
Despite what Arthur was to him, despite the fact that he had fully intended on ending the prince's life this evening before that got ruined, he didn't think Arthur deserved that treatment from his own father... to be treated like a disappointment.  
Arthur stared at him for a while, not responding. His eyes flicked to the stockings clutched in Merlin's hands. "What are those?" He asked.  
"Um. Stockings. They were under your bed." Merlin said.  
Arthur took them from his hands, looking the item over. It looked like he remembered something and he said, "Ah. Yes." He set them off to the side, helping Merlin stand. "Let's get you back downstairs."  
"Arthur are you okay?" Merlin said again. "Your father-"  
"I won't speak of it." Arthur snapped. "Drop it."  
Merlin's mouth shut quickly. He looked down at the stockings. "These... where did they come from?"  
"Where do you think? From a lady." Arthur replied. "If you want any water or wine or food, grab it now before I take you back to your room."  
"A-" Merlin blinked. "You invite girls in here?"  
"Women."  
"Women." Merlin didn't know why, but he assumed Arthur was fairly chaste. He definitely seemed inexperienced with Merlin that particular night. "This happens... Often?"  
"Often enough. You ready? Let's go."  
"So the stockings-"  
"For gods sakes, Merlin." Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. "I have women in here sometimes. The last girl must have left her stockings and they ended up under the bed. It's not that hard to figure out."  
It was weird thinking of Arthur as having an active love life. He wondered briefly what he was like to these girls. If he was rough or gentle... If they actually enjoyed themselves....  
The image of Arthur with a woman was too gross so he put it out of his head.  
"Let's go." Arthur sounded more firm and annoyed and it snapped Merlin out of his thoughts. He followed Arthur out the door, back to his prison.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur's chest hurt. It always hurt after a fight with his father, but this was the worst in a long time. It hurt to breathe, his ribs ached, every breath was painful.  
Merlin trotted after him, and Arthur didn't bother looking back to make sure he was keeping up. He trusted Merlin enough to follow along without having to keep looking at him.  
Arthur got to the room, opened it up. Merlin walked inside, over to the cuffs, and waited patiently.  
Arthur heart twisted. He walked over to Merlin, taking his hands and holding them. "You don't need those any more, my love." He said.  
He hated chaining Merlin in the first place, but it had been necessary. He began to trust Merlin more and more, and he felt tonight proved the chain were no longer needed.  
Merlin's eyes widened. "Really?"  
"Really." Merlin's happiness made some of Arthur's chest pain go away.  
Merlin smiled, looking down at the chains. "Thank you. And..." He looked at Arthur. "I know you said don't talk about it... but I'm sorry for what your father said to you."  
Arthur touched Merlin's cheek, gave him a sad smile. "Sleep tight, Merlin."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur walked dejectedly back to his empty room.  
So his father knew Arthur was not staying in his chambers at night after he retired to bed. Hopefully this didn't mean he would be posting guards from now on.... Arthur wasn't sure what he would do about Merlin if that happened. He was _just_ making good progress with Merlin, and if something stopped his visits... He wasn't sure what he would do. Merlin depended on him for everything.  
Arthur look at his shelf, at the mess he made when he threw the goblet. His collection of books and daggers were strewn everywhere.  
He sighed. Cleaning this mess was a servant's job, but he didn't like seeing his daggers lying around like that.  
He picked them up one by one, setting them back on their display.  
Hm. Strange. Arthur frowned. One was missing.  
Arthur looked all around for the missing dagger. He was sure it was the one with the green stone handle. It had a wicked curve to the blade. It had also cost a lot of money, so he wanted to make sure he found it.  
After looking all over his floor, the dagger was nowhere to be found. Arthur sat back on his knees. How odd.... There were only so many places it could be.  
A servant might be able to find it tomorrow. Arthur was exhausted. He was emotionally drained from fighting with his father. His chest still ached. And he was stressed about what he would do if his father ordered guards to watch his door at night.  
Sleep would fix most of these problems. The rest were to be worried about in the morning.  
Arthur changed into his sleeping clothes. He spotted the stockings, still lying in the floor, and gave an amused snort.  
He seemed to think he recalled the maidservant these belonged to. He wondered if he should try to discreetly give them back to her.  
Merlin had been so shocked to see them. He wondered if Merlin had been jealous of the girl in some way.  
He almost got to kiss Merlin.... if it hadn't been for his blasted father ruining it.  
The way Merlin lifted his chin, parting his lips slightly, tilting his head, silently encouraging Arthur... It made Arthur' heart race to remember it.  
Arthur picked up the stockings, and shoved them into his bedside drawer. He'd try to get them back to the maidservant somehow.  
He climbed into bed, eventually falling into a restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur ate his lunch while a servant finished cleaning his room for him.  
The servant definitely did not seem happy to clean up such a great mess that the prince had made last night, but he didn't speak a word as he swept the floor of the glass and pottery shards, rearranged the books, and rehung a shield on the wall.  
"Clean my sheets." Arthur said around a mouthful of bread.  
The servant nodded once and set to work stripping the sheets and pillowcases off the pillows.  
Arthur took a swig of water to wash his meal down and heard the servant say, "Um, sire? Should I... put this back?"  
Arthur turned to look at him quizzically. His eyes widened when he saw his missing dagger in the servant's hand.  
"Where did you find that?" Arthur asked.  
"It was under the mattress, sire."  
Under the...?  
But how?  
Arthur was silent for some time, and the servant gently prodded, "Do you want it put back or placed on the shelf with the others?"  
"Shelf." Arthur mumbled, still confused as to how the dagger got under there.  
The servant obeyed, and Arthur watching him set the dagger carefully on the display.

_Merlin stood by the shelf, looking at the display. He turns back and looks at Arthur. ""What's it like outside? Can you describe it to me? Since... I'm not allowed to look outside."_   
_Arthur, feeling a whinge of sympathy for his situation, turns his back to Merlin, describing what he sees out of the window._

Arthur felt like there was a rock in the pit of his stomach. Merlin had ample time to grab and stash the dagger away. He was on that exact side of the bed when Arthur turned around, and he otherwise had no reason to be by the bed.  
Arthur's entire body went numb.  
Merlin... he must have done it... no other way that dagger ended up there....  
He had intended to kill the prince last night... hadn't he?  
Merlin had been deceiving him all this time. Everything was a distraction; his new subservient attitude, his sudden affections towards Arthur... he was acting coy and willing and lying to the prince with every treacherous breath... just waiting for an opportunity like last night.  
If Arthur's father hadn't come in...  
A chill ran down Arthur's spine. His father coming in to scold him inadvertently may have saved his life.  
"I will bring you some clean sheets and have your bed made within the hour, sire."  
The servant's words brought Arthur back to the present. "Dismissed." He said absently.  
The servant bowed and left, his arms full of Arthur's dirty sheets.  
Arthur wanted there to be some doubt in his mind about Merlin's betrayal, but there was none. He knew for a fact that dagger had been on the display before he went to the window. And Merlin kept lingering by the side of the bed that dagger was stashed away at the entire evening after, probably waiting for the right time to strike.  
Arthur would never admit it out loud, but he was deeply wounded by Merlin's deception. He truly thought Merlin had turned a corner. He seemed so at ease with the prince... He was receptive to Arthur's advances, he held conversations with him, and he listened with seemingly great interest when Arthur would speak of his dreams.  
Oh gods, the dreams... Arthur put his head in his hands. They were true... weren't they? They had to be. They were so vivid and immersive... It felt so real, like Arthur was really there... Merlin was so loyal in his dreams, by his side always, happy and eager to please...  
But in reality, every time it seemed like Merlin was getting better at accepting Arthur and their future, it always turned out to be a fluke.  
Arthur was exhausted from it all. Exhausted from trying and trying and trying to be kind and gentle with Merlin, only for Merlin to turn on him.  
And now, with this detailed deception? Something _had_ to change.

  
****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur was distant. He said hardly a word to Merlin since he arrived, setting down the basket and having Merlin open it himself rather than dish out the contents for Merlin like he normally did.  
Merlin tried to converse with him, just to keep up his new, chipper facade, but Arthur sat across from him, looking off to the side, barely responding.  
"It's your father, isn't it?" Merlin asked after he finished his dinner.  
"Hm?" Arthur said absently.  
"You seem to be distracted this evening. Is it because of the fight with your father last night?"  
"Partially. Perhaps." Arthur said.  
"Was he harsh with you today at all?"  
"Not really. Avoided him, mostly." Arthur's answers were short, giving very little information.  
"Did you get those stockings back to that girl?" Merlin made his voice teasing, although the image of Arthur seducing a girl into his bed was sickening, to say the least. He only hoped the girls Arthur chose were willing... and at least somewhat enjoyed it....  
Arthur cracked a smile at that. "Yeah. I managed to."  
"Is she pretty?"  
"Of course."  
"You like her."  
Arthur shrugged. "Enough to bed her."  
"You were... good to her... yes?"  
Arthur gave him a sharp look. "Yes. Why do you ask such a thing?"  
 _Because I know what you're capable of._  
Merlin ducked his head. "I don't know."  
Arthur studied him, then went back to being silent.  
"Quite the role reversal." Merlin commented. "Me trying to talk to you and you ignoring me."  
Arthur gave an amused snort. "Not ignoring you. A lot on my mind right now."  
"We could play a quick game with the tiles."  
"We could." Arthur agreed. Then he looked at Merlin full-on. "But weren't we interrupted last night?"  
"Er, what?"  
"You asked me to kiss you." Arthur reminded him. "But then my father showed up."  
Merlin's ears started roaring. "Yes, there was that, I suppose." He muttered, wondering how to get out of this situation. The offer was only a distraction so Arthur wouldn't notice him grabbing the dagger from under the mattress. He could not stress enough in his mind how much he did _not_ want to kiss Arthur.  
"Down here isn't the best place for a first kiss, is it though?" Arthur moved the basket and plate out from in front of him, leaving an open space between him and Merlin.  
Merlin smiled, relieved. "No, I suppose it isn't."  
"You were right, however. Part of my low mood _is_ because of my father." Arthur continued.  
"I can understand that."  
"Would you like to help me get him off my mind?" Arthur's voice became low, and he scooted in closer.  
Merlin's mouth went dry. "How so?"  
"With how you were last night?" Arthur stood on his knees, and Merlin swallowed hard when he began untying the laces of his own trousers. "I know you must finally be beginning to desire me as I've desired you all this time."  
Merlin can't look away, and his heart races in a panic. "Arthur-"  
"Sh, love. Help me get my mind off my troubles." Arthur tugs his trousers and smallclothes down, enough to reveal his erection. "Give me your hand."  
Merlin was between a rock and a hard place, so to speak, no innuendo intended. The exact last thing he wanted was to bring Arthur pleasure intentionally, but if he refused, Arthur might know something was up. He might begin to doubt Merlin's miraculous turnabout.  
Merlin stared at Arthur's cock, unable to look away. In the dim light, he can see the foreskin is pulled back, revealing the dark head.  
He felt numb as he reached towards it and Arthur made a pleased sound. "There you go." He took Merlin's hand and wrapped his hand own his cock. "There."  
Merlin felt his dinner trying to come back up as he moved his hand up and down and Arthur moaned a little. He got in even closer to Merlin, and pressed his forehead against the sorcerer's, closing his eyes. "Your hands are so soft." Arthur murmured.  
Merlin is breathing in Arthur's air as it exhales from his nose and mouth and he really wishes he wasn't. He also wishes he wasn't feeling Arthur's arousal pulsing and twitching, very hot, in his hand.  
Arthur pumps his hips a bit and Merlin freezes. "Exactly." Arthur praises. "Hold still for a bit." And he continues thrusting into Merlin's still grip.  
 _It'll all be over soon._ Merlin reassures himself, as Arthur's chest rises and falls from the pleasure he is taking from Merlin. _Just like before. It can't last forever._  
Arthur is close and he quickly shoves Merlin's hand away, wrapping his own hand around himself, continuing to pump. Merlin isn't even sure if it's been ten minutes or a half hour. He is just numb and trying to pretend he isn't really here right now.  
Arthur stands up, and Merlin is staring right at the prince's cock. Arthur's breathing is hard, and his rhythm is stuttering. Merlin has brought himself and several other men off enough to know he is very close.  
Merlin shuts his eyes and feels warmth splattering his face moments later. He makes a choking noise unwittingly before he can stop himself, disgusted by what just happened.  
Arthur is coming down from his high, from the sounds of it. Merlin doesn't open his eyes yet.  
He feels Arthur drag a finger through the semen on his face and then forcefully sticks it in Merlin's mouth. It's not just the taste that makes Merlin gag, but the degradation of what Arthur has just forced Merlin to participate in.  
"I know what you must think of me, Merlin." Arthur said. "I'm not fooled by your lies. You've been pretending to get along with me in hopes you'll somehow manage to escape me."  
Merlin's eyes snap open in shock. "Wha- No. That's not it at all."  
Arthur snorts. "I know how you feel about me, really. You've said before that I'm a cruel monster for keeping you down here, for making you wait until I am king to allow you any sort of freedom. You think I am a madman, and my dreams are fantasies I conjured up. You don't believe they will come true. You think I'm wicked for what I did to that mute. You wish me dead, even if it means you dying down here from starvation. You would rather be dead than serve under me."  
Merlin felt like red-hot iron hands were squeezing his ribs tighter and tighter the more Arthur spoke. "I- I _did_ think those things. But now I believe in what you've-"  
Arthur backhanded him hard, and Merlin gave a shout of pain. "I know you're a damned liar, Merlin." Arthur puts himself away, lacing up his trousers quickly. "I found the knife under the mattress. I know what you were planning on doing last night."  
Merlin goes white and he stands up, wiping the cum off his face to no avail. "No, Arthur-"  
" 'No, Arthur', what?" Arthur challenges. "You going to tell me I'm wrong? The dagger went missing, and you were the only one over by the display besides me. I know they were all there before I brought you up to my room. And then suddenly it goes missing. I found that out when I came back up from taking you back to your room. I couldn't find it anywhere. Then it was found under the mattress. I know you had to be the one who stashed it away. And I know you were intending to kill me. I figured it all out, Merlin. You can drop the act."  
Merlin feels like the floor is falling away from him. Arthur had it all right. And Merlin's entire plan was over and done with. He was through. Arthur would never trust him after all this.  
"Then why not just say that when you came in?" Merlin snapped at him. "Why pretend like you didn't know, and make me do what you just did?"  
"You know exactly why, Merlin." Arthur smirks cruelly. "You belong to me. And I will take what I want from you. It doesn't matter that you hate me, that you want me dead. You are useless. You are entirely under my thumb. Even when I am king, even when you have your magic back, I will own everything that you are. You will serve me completely. Fate will not allow you to kill me. They've _given_ you to me. You are nothing without me."  
Even though Merlin was physically weak, he lashed out at Arthur, clawing at his face after he spoke those words. "You don't own me!" Merlin screams at him as Arthur easily fights him off. "I will find a way to be free of you! You're evil, pure evil! I hate you!"  
Arthur pulls back his fist and punches Merlin in the eye. The force of it makes Merlin's head snap back and he stumbles. He feels Arthur grab his throat and pull him closer. "I really don't care how you feel about me, Merlin." He says, eerily calm. "I know in the end I win. I've already won. I killed your lover. I brought you here. And you will live out your life in this kingdom, under me, the man you hate who has conquered you."  
Arthur spat on Merlin's face and Merlin recoils at the feeling. Then the prince swiftly knees Merlin in the groin and Merlin feels his entire lower half explode with pain. He grunts and falls to the floor.  
"The future I long for may be a long ways away, but it will be here eventually." Arthur set everything back in the basket, picking it up. "You have a long way to go to be the man I see in my dreams, but one day you will be. You won't see me tomorrow, Merlin. Starving for a bit is a good punishment for you. And I think you will come to regret trying to deceive me."  
Merlin is curled up on the floor in so much pain he could vomit from it. Arthur's words ring in his ears loud and clear. He hears the door shut, and the lock click shut.  
Merlin breathes through the pain, gradually managing to uncurl. His eye is throbbing and presumably will be black and blue in a matter of hours.  
He couldn't believe Arthur gained yet _another_ victory over him. Merlin thought he was doing so well. Arthur was trusting him.  
He curses himself for having to leave the glaring bit of evidence behind in Arthur's room, but it's not like he had much choice. He also curses Arthur's father for choosing to show up late at night just to yell at his son.  
Merlin wipes his face, and gags at feeling the prince's cum, cold and tacky, drying on his face. He peels off his shirt, despite the cold, and uses it to clean his face off as much as he could, minding the soreness around his eye.  
The Fates really _were_ fighting against him, weren't they? Merlin was beginning to believe maybe he wouldn't win this war. He couldn't even win a single battle.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

It had been more than a couple of days. Merlin was sure of it. The waterskin Arthur had left him with (or more likely forgot about) was dry, and so were Merlin's mouth and throat. He could barely swallow, his mouth made a gross smacking sound every time he opened it. He kept trying to wet his chapped lips to no avail.  
Some of the candles were burning low and Merlin tried hard not to dwell on that. Arthur was not going to let him die of thirst down here. Merlin knew that much. He knew the prince only sought to punish him for Merlin's deception. He'd be back. Merlin was sure of it.

****************************************************************************************************************************************  
The sound of the door opening caused Merlin to wake up groggily. His throat burned and ached as he sat up, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.  
He felt relief go through him when he saw Arthur standing before him, holding two waterskins by the necks. Merlin reached for them, unable to speak, and Arthur gave them to him without a word.  
Merlin drank and drank until the first waterskin was empty, and then he started gulping from the second one, his thirst finally getting quenched.  
"Starving." Merlin croaked out.  
"I can't stay long. Father has upped the guards. Doubt you'll be seeing a lot of me until he stops ordering extra night patrols." Arthur said, his voice lacking emotion.  
"Food?"  
Arthur tiled his head at him. "Such a curious thing you are, Merlin. You claim to hate me, say I am evil, and yet you expect me to follow your every whim and give you everything you wish for. You thought of me as cruel?" Arthur knelt in front of him. "You have no idea what I am capable of, pet." He roughly ran his hand through Merlin's hair, making the sorcerer's head wobble.  
"I am sorry, Arthur." Merlin swallowed, his thirst still not quenched. "I regret everything. All of it. Please. Can I have some more water and some food?"  
"You need something more for your thirst?" Arthur asked with false sympathy.  
Merlin nodded.  
Arthur spat a glob of saliva onto Merlin's face. It landed on the side of his mouth. Merlin jerked back in disgust and and wiped it off.  
"So ungrateful." Arthur smirked at him. "If you think being down here was bad before, it's about to become a living hell for you."  
Merlin watched him stand up, his entire body filling with dread at what Arthur may yet do to him.  
"I'll see you tomorrow, pet. Sweet dreams."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin spat blood onto the floor, his lips cut up and bleeding. "Mercy." He begged weakly, earning a kick to the chest. He fell back with a grunt, and Arthur stood over him, picking him up by the shirt. "You think you deserve mercy?" He sneered at Merlin. "For deceiving me? For trying to kill me? This is exactly what you get for betraying my trust." He lets Merlin fall back onto the floor and Merlin moans in pain as his head smacks against the stone.  
He must have faded out of consciousness. When he comes to, Arthur is gone.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin coughs weakly as he bites into the stale bread Arthur brought him.  
"None of that." Arthur chides. "Won't have you getting sick down here."  
"I haven't seen the sun in forever, and I'm subsisting on the bit of water you let me have and stale bread." Merlin's voice is frail, but filled with bitterness. "I don't see how you could expect me _not_ to get sick."  
Arthur shrugs. "Thought you were made of sterner stuff."  
"Can I have my book back please?"  
"No."  
Merlin knew that would be the answer. He had least still had his blanket. He was grateful for that.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"No, no." Merlin scoots back against the wall when Arthur comes in that night, pressing against it like he was hoping the stone would swallow him up. Arthur advanced towards him anyway. "Please no more. I regret it all, I'm so sorry, Arthur-"  
"Here." Arthur opens up the basket and hands Merlin a saucer with a single, small chicken breast on it. "You need something more to keep up your strength."  
Merlin's hands shake as he takes the saucer, his mouth watering. It's been so long since he's had anything but bread and water. He picks up the chicken, biting into it with great relish, his mouth exploding with flavor and-  
Merlin froze. Something was wiggling in his mouth.  
He gagged and Arthur laughed. Merlin spat out the meat, flipping it over and retching at the sight of maggots on the underside of the breast.  
Bile comes up and tears fill his eyes. "You are depraved." He spat at Arthur.  
Arthur smirks at him. "This is what you think of me, what you expect. This is what you get. You should have appreciated the luxuries I gave you when you had them."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin's nose was bleeding, his eyes swollen from Arthur's fists. He sat against the corner, head fuzzy, scarcely able to comprehend what Arthur was saying as he prepared to leave.  
"- getting it all out now. Knighting ceremony is tomorrow night, and it is _quite_ the affair, so don't expect to see me tomorrow. I'l be getting my fill of wine, meats, pastries, and hopefully women." Arthur's voice was jovial. "You'll be alright, though. Won't you, Merlin?"  
Merlin let the blood flow freely from his nose, uncaring, his vision fading.  
"Sweet dreams, my pet."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur seemed distant the next time Merlin saw him. He brought bread and water as usual, but his jabs and insults were lacking.  
Merlin didn't ask why. He couldn't care less. At least Arthur wasn't beating him tonight.  
Merlin was waiting for this cruelty to end. Or for Arthur to end him. Whichever came first.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin felt a warm hand touch his shoulder. He groaned, his head throbbing.  
"Have some water." He felt Arthur shove the waterskin into his hand.  
Merlin managed to roll onto his back, take the cap off, and shakily raised the opening to his lips, drinking deeply.  
"There's really nobody else I have that I can talk to about this." Arthur began, sitting next to Merlin. Merlin kept his eyes closed.  
"I was challenged to a duel a few nights ago. During the knighting ceremony. Do you remember me telling you about the ceremony?"  
Merlin grunted.  
"I accepted, naturally. I felt confident I would win." Arthur paused, and the next part came out reluctantly. "I... lost though. I had the upper hand for just a bit, but she managed to get the best of me."  
Merlin's eyes fluttered open. Surely he misheard. "She?" He asked.  
Arthur ignored him. "She let me live, as long as I agreed to meet with her in three days time, and complete a challenge she has for me."  
This was all so bizarre, Merlin wondered if he was dreaming.  
"I leave tomorrow night. My father doesn't know what I agreed to. I told him nothing. He's already watching me like a hawk, having servants and guards keep an eye on me. I knew if I told him, he would never let me go. But I have to keep my word."  
Merlin swallowed. "A trap." He croaked.  
"Could be." Arthur muttered. "But I gave her my word."  
There was silence for a while, and Merlin found his eyes drifting closed again.  
"I have a basket here for you. Should be enough until I get back." Arthur hesitated. "If... If something happens, if it's a trap... If I don't make it back... The clasp will come off in the event of my death."  
Merlin felt his heart give a strange flip when he heard that.  
"If this happens, and you are freed... please just go in peace. Don't punish anyone for what I did to you. There are tunnels leading outside. Just don't harm anyone because of me."  
"Why would I seek to punish someone else... just because you are a black-souled monster?" Merlin braced himself for the hit. But it never came.  
Arthur stood up. "Try not to die until I get back." He said, his voice steely. Merlin gave a wracking cough, glaring feebly at him.  
"Wish me luck, I suppose." And Arthur was gone.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

The candles grew dimmer each hour, it seemed. Several had already extinguished themselves. Merlin tried not to notice the growing shadows, staring at the ground as he ate a piece of chicken. He had checked everything for any surprise maggots, and thankfully Arthur wasn't evil enough to leave him with rotten food.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin hunched over, hacking and wheezing, every breath a struggle. He grabbed a waterskin, finding it empty. Dismayed, he sought out another, relieved to find it had a bit of water in it.  
His chest rattled. He was hacking up mucus constantly. His head pounded. He needed medicine, but he knew Arthur would never deign to give him any when he got back.  
Merlin needed herbs. He needed proper nutrition. And sunlight. Gods, he missed the warmth of the sun so much... it must be getting closer to spring now. Flowers would be starting to blossom. Birds would be chirping in every tree... What he would give to hear a bird's song right about now.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin awoke to complete darkness. He sat up, blinking hard, waving his hand in front of his face. The candles were all completely burnt out.  
He heard a rattling breath and jolted before he realized it came from him.  
As he stared into nothingness, he found himself silently praying for Arthur to please come back.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin tugged at his clasp repeatedly. What if Arthur was wrong? What if he was dead, and the clasp wasn't going to come off? He whimpered in fear, yanking at it harder. He was going to die down here, alone and in the dark. Years from now, his skeleton would be found, and people would wonder who he had been, and how he ended up down here.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin couldn't breathe. He also couldn't seem to stop coughing, which didn't help matters. His chest burned like fire. He shook constantly, but not from cold. He wasn't going to last much longer. His water was gone, his mouth was dry and his tongue felt swollen. His throat felt like someone had scoured it with sandpaper.  
He fumbled around for his blanket, and yelped when he felt what he swore was a pair of hands grabbing his ankles.  
"Arthur?!" He said as loudly as he could, his throat burning. Had Arthur returned, and was sneaking about in the dark to scare Merlin? It didn't seem to be beyond him.  
"Arthur if that's you, please stop. Say something." Merlin's voice was barely above a whisper, cutting out.  
He felt another pair of hand touching his back, and heard devilish-sounding whispers in his ears.  
He whimpered, scrambling away until he touched a wall, following it until he hit a corner.  
He curled up in the corner, hearing the whispers in the dark surround him. He covered his ears, but that did nothing. He felt hands all over him, grabbing at his legs, his arms, shoulders.  
Merlin shoved at the air, waving his arms around wildly, yelling with a scratchy voice at the shadows to leave him alone. He choked out a sob as the horrific whispers in his ears grew louder, more frightening.  
Merlin let out a helpless wail, covering his eyes with both arms, despite the pitch blackness of the room, kicking out madly. "Leave me alone! Go away!"  
He felt a set of warm hands wrap around him from behind and he made a frightened sound, trying to twist around as the grip got tighter.  
"Sh. Shhh, Merlin. I'm here."  
.... That wasn't Arthur.  
"Open your eyes, my love. It's alright."  
Merlin hesitantly opened his eyes, blinking as the sunlight, and the image of trees and grass filled his vision. "What-?" He was at a loss for words.  
"You're safe here with me for now, Merlin."  
Merlin looked down at the arms wrapped around his waist. He leaned forward carefully, and they loosened their grip, allowing him to turn around and see who was speaking to him.  
"Artemis!" Merlin rubbed his eyes, just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.  
Artemis laughed. "You can pinch yourself too, if you like. But this is all real. I am here."  
Merlin practically fell over himself trying to embrace Artemis. He was real, firm and warm. He buried his face into Artemis' neck and sobbed once. "Artemis... Artemis, my love...."  
Artemis hugged him securely. "I've got you."  
"Artemis, I am so sorry." Merlin's tears flowed, soaking Artemis' tunic. "I failed you-"  
"Shhh." Artemis soothed. "Merlin, I forgave you for that long ago. I know you blame yourself, but you need to stop. You couldn't have known."  
"I should have stayed-"  
"You left to try and find someone who could help me speak. You were always doing everything to help me be happy, to help me live a good life. You did. But you could never have known what the prince was planning. You did your very best."  
"It wasn't enough."  
"Forgive yourself, Merlin. You can't keep dwelling on it."  
Merlin stared at Artemis' face for some time, taking it all in. "I can't believe I get to see you again. And your voice." Merlin grinned, touching Artemis' cheek fondly. "Your voice is so lovely to hear."  
Artemis grinned in response to that. "I never fully considered the fact that I would have a voice in the afterlife. It was quite the surprise, I can tell you."  
Merlin blinked. "Oh." For some reason, it didn't fully click until Artemis said that that this was a spirit he was technically conversing with. "This is... But if you're dead, and I'm here, then...."  
"You're alive, Merlin. Don't worry."  
Merlin hung his head low. "I don't want to be."  
Artemis' expression became pained. "Oh, Merlin... I'm so sorry for what you've been through."  
"You know?"  
Artemis nodded. "I've seen it. I've been watching over you for some time. I've wished so many times I could interfere, watching him with you, seeing how he treats you, the things he's put you through."  
"Do you understand why I don't wish to go back? I want to stay here with you."  
Artemis cupped Merlin's face, looking into his eyes. "Listen to me, Merlin. We _will_ be reunited one day. I promise you this. But you have to go on living for a bit longer, okay?"  
Merlin felt his chest seize up with emotion. "I can't do it. I can't go back. Artemis-"  
Artemis looked like his heart was being torn out. "You've no idea how badly I want you to stay, Merlin. I miss you so much. Not a minute goes by that I don't think about you. I want you to stay. But it's out of my control. I was only allowed to see you just now to offer you hope. Hope, and strength to keep going."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Something is about to happen, Merlin. Everything is about to change for you. You have more trials coming up. More challenges."  
"I don't think I can take much more than what's already happened, Artemis. I _know_ I can't."  
Artemis bit down on his lip hard as his hand went to cup Merlin's chin. He looked at Merlin with pity. "Everything is going to change." He repeated. "Some things will get better. Others..." He took a deep breath, like he was envisioning it all. "I have faith that you will be okay. And it won't last forever. You will know peace and rest after it is all said and done."  
"I escape? Will I escape Arthur? Is he even still alive? It's been days...."  
Artemis paused, and glanced behind himself anxiously. "I can't tell you anything else. Just know that you won't die in that room. Your magic will sustain you."  
Merlin shook his head. "My magic is gone. It's trapped inside of me."  
Artemis gave him a fond smile. "But it is still _within_ you, Merlin. It can't get out, sure, but it's keeping you alive. Anyone else without magic would have passed on by now."  
At hearing that, Merlin wondered _exactly_ how long Arthur had abandoned him down there and when/if he intended to return.   
"I don't have much time left with you. You have to go back soon." Artemis' voice was low and sad.  
The thought of going back to that rank, dark, freezing room made Merlin's stomach twist with dread.  
"They aren't real, you know."  
"What?" Merlin asked.  
"The voices in the dark. The things you feel. It's all in your head. It's only you in there. Nothing is in the shadows."  
Merlin inhaled deeply. "I know. I think I've always known. But it's so hard, when I'm by myself for so long, and it's so black..."  
"You are the strongest, bravest person I know." Artemis said with great affection. "I know you will make it through this. And we will see each other again one day. Hold on to that. You have such a great destiny to fulfill in the meantime."  
Merlin pressed his forehead against Artemis'. "I love you so much."  
"I love you too." Artemis murmured. "I don't want you to leave... It hurts even more than I thought it would..."  
"Hold me?" Merlin requested, his voice thick with emotion. "Hold me until I have to go?"  
"Of course." And Artemis wraps his arms around Merlin as they carefully laid down together on the sweet-smelling grass. Merlin closes his eyes, smiling, feeling happier than he can ever remember.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"Careful with him, now." Arthur warned the servants as they picked up Merlin's limp body. "I don't need him getting anymore damaged."  
He heard Merlin moan as the two male servants lifted him up, one carrying his legs and the other lifting him up by hooking his forearms under Merlin's arms.  
"He's lost so much weight, he shouldn't be that heavy." Arthur said scornfully as the servants seemed to struggle a bit.  
"Good gods, the smell in this place...."  
Arthur turned and looked at the guard who said that. "I daresay he hasn't been out of this room for quite some time. Or had a wash." He said dryly. "Poor thing." He tacked on at the end.  
He did his best to look as appalled at Merlin's horrific appearance as the others with him, to show some shock. The servants carry him to the doorway where Arthur stands with the two guards. "Right then." Says Arthur. "Let's take him to the room."

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin groans, his head pounding. He doesn't open his eyes, turning to his side. If he opens his eyes, he'll have to face reality. He'll have to stare into the darkness, shivering from the cold, huddling up while he coughs and coughs-  
He suddenly realizes that the ground feels a lot softer. And warmer. And... is that a pillow under his head?  
Oh gods... Did Arthur come back? Is he in the prince's bed?  
Merlin risks opening one eye, taken aback by the sunlight that floods his vision. He opens both eyes, sitting up, ignoring his headache.  
He's on a bed. In a room. Not the prince's room. And it's daytime.  
Merlin is so confused. He looks to his right. There is a small table, rather long though, right beside the bed, lined with food and drink.  
Merlin scrambles over to it, and stuffs a drumstick from whatever bird into his mouth. He could cry. It's so warm, so juicy....  
He pours himself some water, ignoring the wine for now, and gulps it down.  
Merlin is devouring every single last morsel he can grab. He swears his stomach is practically bursting by the time he has eaten his fill.  
Merlin looks at the bedside table, noticing for the first time two little vials filled with liquid. One is greyish. The other is clear.  
There are small notes beside them. Merlin leans over to read it. The note for the clear one says, ' _Drink before eating_ *, and the other says, ' _Drink after eating_ '.  
 _Oops_ , Merlin thinks, uncorking the bottles and deciding to just drink them both.  
They both taste awful, and he wonders afterward why he just drank two mysterious liquids without even question where it came from.  
 _It can't be bad for me, whatever it is_ , Merlin is certain. _Why would I be taken to a room and given food and water only to be poisoned?_  
Why... Why _was_ he here? Who brought him to this room? Was he finally rescued?  
Merlin's hand suddenly flies to his neck, feeling for the clasp. It's still there.  
He's filled with disappointment and left with more questions.  
Was Arthur found out? Did he confess to what he had been doing? Maybe he went to go see Merlin, and was followed and caught. That might explain the long absence....  
But then... the king would have recognized the clasp, and its use. Merlin should be in the dungeon, not treated to a fancy meal and a cozy bed. Even if Merlin were a regular servant, the king would never choose to treat him like this, no matter what he had been put through.  
The door opens, and Merlin jumps, shrinking back out of habit.  
It was a servant boy, late teens perhaps. Blonde. He also looks shocked to see Merlin awake.  
"Oh." He hesitates, and then backs up, poking his head out of the room. "He is awake."  
There must be guards outside the door, Merlin figures.  
The serving boy ducks back into the room. "The king has said he wishes you to bathe before he sees you later on. I will go draw the bath now."  
"The king." Merlin's heart flip-flops. "What does he want with me?"  
The servant shakes his head rapidly. "No, it's not what you're thinking-"  
"Where is the prince? What's going on?"  
"I'm sorry, the king has forbidden me to tell you anything until he sees you after you wash up."  
"Just tell me _something_ , for god's sakes." Merlin snapped. "Why am I here? Where is Arthur?"  
The servant boy opened his mouth, and then shut it very quickly. "I must go get your bath ready." He stumbles over his words quickly and then turns tail, practically speed walking out.  
Merlin gritted his teeth. What the hell was happening?

****************************************************************************************************************************************

"More oils?"  
"I'm fine." Merlin didn't like scrubbing down with two servants watching, but that's how it was. At least they weren't ogling and trying to touch him like Arthur would whenever he would have Merlin bathe in his chambers.  
"Where is Arthur? Can you at least tell me that?" Merlin asks for what feels like the fiftieth time.  
"We are forbidden, sir. I apologize." One of the servants is the same blonde one from earlier. "But all will be explained when the king arrives."  
"Stop bringing up the king." The other servant hisses to the blonde one. "You'll only confuse him further."  
"Is the king going to kill me?" Merlin asks. "What is he planning? Can I get _anything_ out _either_ of you? I have to know."  
The servants went silent.  
Merlin soaps up his hair, quietly fuming. "How was I found? Can you tell me that? How did anyone discover I was down there? Did Arthur-"  
"Always too curious for your own good, Merlin."  
Merlin turns in the direction of the familiar, drawling voice.  
Arthur stands in the doorway, dressed in a red shirt and his usual brown trousers. His sword hangs by his side, and his head is cocked to the side as he observes Merlin.  
"Arthur." Merlin breathes.  
Arthur steps into the room. He waves away the servants as they bow before him. "Dismissed." He tells them, barely glancing in their direction.  
The two boys bow again, and leave.  
"Rinse off your hair, Merlin. Before it dries with all that soap in it." Arthur says, stepping in closer.  
"What's going on, Arthur?" Merlin asks. "Why am I here? What is all of this?"  
"Surprising that even after nearly two weeks of being alone in that room, probably going mad with boredom and slowly starving to death, you _still_ manage to be demanding." Arthur shakes his head. "Makes me wonder if I'll ever fully break you."  
"Two weeks?!" Merlin nearly shouts. "You abandoned me for _two weeks_?! What if you had gone down there and I was dead?"  
"That wasn't going to happen, Merlin. I _was_ concerned at first, I'll admit it. But I had a vision on the way back from seeing Morgause that told me your magic would keep you alive for as long as need be until I returned to you."  
"Morgause? Who-?" Merlin shook his head. "Could you _please_ answer a single question? Why am I up here? Are you freeing me? Did the king make you free me? Were you discovered-"  
"Finish up, dry off, get dressed. I'll have a servant fetch you some more food and then I will tell you everything."  
Merlin finished washing in record time while Arthur flagged down a servant and asked for more food from the kitchens.  
Merlin stood up, stepping out of the bath onto a towel, grabbing another towel and drying off. He wrapped the slightly wet towel around his waist, and Arthur walked open to the wardrobe, opening it up and grabbing a set of clothes apparently set in there just for Merlin.  
Merlin took the clothes from the prince, recoiling as Arthur reached out to touch his waist. "You aren't touching me." He said, although he knew there was no way to stop Arthur if he decided otherwise.  
"Always so stubborn." Arthur sighed. "And don't be ridiculous. I was checking out the bruise."  
Merlin looked down at his ribs. They stuck out tremendously, and there was not one, not two, but at least six bruises covering the skin. "Proud of your work?" He snapped at Arthur.  
"Careful, Merlin." Arthur warned. "Watch your attitude before I regret letting you out."  
"You were the one who-?" Merlin shook his head to clear it, rubbing his fingertips against his temples. "Arthur, I _need_ an explanation."  
Arthur sighed deeply, looking at the doorway. He seemed to be trying to make a decision.  
He finally walked over to the door and told the guards to leave. He turned to look at Merlin. "Finish dressing. Sit down on the bed. I'll tell you everything."  
Merlin dressed, but sat in a chair instead. He didn't trust Arthur one bit to sit on the bed, where Arthur might easily choose to overpower him.  
Arthur looked annoyed but said nothing about it. He poured himself some wine, pulled up a second chair in front of Merlin, sitting down and finally proceeding to tell Merlin everything that had happened.  
He told Merlin about the knighting ceremony a few weeks previously, and how he had been challenged to a duel. The challenger was revealed to be a woman named Morgause, and as there apparently was no rule in the knight's code stating that women can't issue challenges, Arthur was obligated to fight. He nearly won, but she was more skilled than he anticipated. She offered to spare him so long as he agreed to meet with her in three days time to complete a challenge of her choosing.  
Merlin knew some of this from what Arthur had told him, but when the prince got to the part where he met with Morgause, and she told him to kneel at a chopping block, Merlin was shocked to hear that Arthur had actually done it, fully thinking he was about to be beheaded.  
"I had to keep my word, Merlin." Arthur said, in response to the disbelief on Merlin's face. "I told her I would complete any challenge she set before me."  
"And then what happened?"  
"Well, she didn't do it, obviously." Arthur snorted. "She acted like she was about to, and then stopped before the blade hit my neck. She told me she would grant me a favor in return for my trust and bravery, and I asked about my mother. She had told me before that she knew her." Arthur looked down. "I've- I've always wanted to know more about my mother. Father never spoke of her... Then Morgause asked if I would like to _see_ my mother. And she uttered a spell...." Arthur paused, like he was remembered the exact moment. "And there was my mother, appeared out of thin air. She was-" Arthur pressed his lips together. "Seeing her in that moment. She was exactly how I always imagined she would be. She embraced me. She told me how proud she was of me. She told me...." Arthurs jaw tensed. "She told me the secret of my birth."  
"Secret? What secret?" Merlin found himself entranced by the story.  
Arthur looked at Merlin, his eyes stony and filled with anger. "My father is responsible for my mother's death. I was always told my mother died after delivering me. I always blamed myself for her death. But it was my father. My father killed her."  
"How?"  
"My parents couldn't conceive. So my father went to a sorceress, without my mother's knowledge, and asked her to grant them a son. The sorceress warned him of the cost, a life for a life. And he went through with it anyway. The life that was taken in exchange for mine was my mother's. And instead of blaming himself for her death, he blamed magic. And those who practice magic have been paying the price for my father's crime ever since."  
Merlin found he was clutching the armrests of the chair so tightly his fingers had turned white. "How could he do that?" He said, his voice full of barely controlled anger. "How could he have so many innocent people killed for something _he_ did?"  
"My father was always a man with a strong temper, never able to admit his own wrongdoing." Arthur replied, looking away from Merlin. "He let me silently blame myself for my mother's passing my entire life. He spoke of magic like it was the worst evil, and of sorcerers as if they were the greatest threat, unable to come to grips with his own guilt. But now I know the truth, and I will make sure all the wrongs my father committed will be righted."  
A chill ran down Merlin's spine, and he felt the hairs on his neck stand up. "Arthur... what did you do?"  
There was a knock at the door and Merlin jumped. Arthur called out, "Come in." And a servant entered with a tray of food.  
"On the bed." Arthur ordered, not looking at the servant.  
The servant did as he was told, bowing to the prince and hurrying back out.  
"Are you still hungry?" Arthur asked.  
"Arthur, where is your father now?" Merlin's stomach was twisted in a knot. "Where is he?"  
"The wrongs of the past must be righted. And it is time for our destiny to unfold."  
"Arthur, where is he?" Merlin's voice rose, but out of fear, not anger. "What did you do?"  
Arthur looked down at the sword hanging from his waist. "I did what I had to do. My mother had to be avenged."  
"Arthur-"  
"And now that I am king, I will set to work at once undoing what my father has done."  
"Arthur." Merlin's throat went dry. "You didn't... tell me you didn't-"  
"And why should you care?" Arthur's voice grew harsh. "If my father had ever found out about your magic while you were in my services, you would have been burnt at the stake without a second thought. Why should he get any sympathy from you?"  
"He was your _father_ , Arthur! How could you do such a thing?" After all the grievous sins Arthur had committed, the thought of Arthur being cold-blooded enough to murder his own father made Merlin's head spin.  
"You heard how he spoke to me!" Arthur stood up, raising his voice. "I was nothing to him but a disappointment! I followed his every command, I trained his knights, I trained tirelessly to become the best warrior I could be. I showed my loyalty to him as my king and I wanted his respect and did everything I could to gain it. But I was never good enough for him. I never would be."  
Merlin couldn't move, feeling cold and empty listening to Arthur's words. He could never imagine working day in and day out for the basic love and respect from your own parent and never feeling like you could earn it.  
Uther had been such a stone-hearted man who ruled with an iron fist. He was so ruthless that he led a crusade to slaughter numerous innocent people simply for using magic. He was so stubborn he refused to relent and accept that his wife's death was his own fault.  
Still... being murdered by his own son? Merlin wondered if even _he_ had deserved such a fate.  
"What did you tell them?" Merlin asked quietly. "What did you tell the people about his death?"  
"Only a select few in the castle know the truth of his passing. A couple of servants, the ones who attended to you tonight. Some of my most trusted knights. A few of the guards. They have been sworn to secrecy until further notice."  
"Everyone else?"  
Arthur shrugged. "They know he is gone, but I said I would not release the full details of his death until I saw fit."  
"Will you ever?" Merlin demanded. "Will you ever choose to tell them that their king died at the hands of his own son?"  
Arthur's jaw clenched and there was a fire in his eyes. "The truth as I tell it will be revealed to them soon enough. I know what I am doing, Merlin. This is a very delicate situation. There are a lot of irons in the fire, so to speak. I must make every move carefully or everything falls apart."  
"The truth as you tell it?" Merlin repeated.  
"You're free now, aren't you Merlin?" Arthur snapped. "You may be confined to this room for the next short while until all the pieces of my plan are in place, but you have a bed. Clothes you can change into at will. Fresh food multiple times a day. Windows to look out of. Your suffering is over."  
Arthur's face grew soft, and he went over to where Merlin sat, cupping his hand under Merlin's chin. "Your suffering is over." He repeated. "I will be officially crowned king soon. You will be my court sorcerer. You will have a room even finer than this. Given everything you could ever wish for. I will give you so many gifts. You will be honored and revered by the people, and feared by our enemies."  
"And my magic?" Merlin's said, voice thick with emotion. "When can I have my magic back?"  
Arthur smiled at him with affection. "It will be given back to you much sooner than you think. After my position as king is made official. I will take this accursed clasp off and you will be free to use magic again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_**And you will use it for me, and only for me. For the strength of the kingdom. You thought I was trying to break you down before? My darling Merlin... I haven't even BEGUN to show you how I can break you.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes this section of the story. I will be writing and uploading a new sequel, which will finish out the Splintered Flower series.  
> I have every detail and chapter planned out in my mind and I hope you enjoy the story when I started uploading those chapters soon.
> 
> Sidenote #1: The vials Merlin took from the bedside table were medicine for his illness. I could never find a good place to insert that explanation seamlessly so I just didn't. But it was medicine.
> 
> Sidenote #2: I know it's confusing the way the servants tiptoed around Merlin's questions (Not just because Arthur threatened them and swore them to secrecy). When Merlin asked about the king, the servants KNEW he was talking about Uther, and the reason why they were nervous to talk about Uther in front of Merlin will be made clear in the future sequel.


End file.
